


come be my teacher

by oddeyejinsol



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, bad girl haseul, good girl lip, side yvesoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddeyejinsol/pseuds/oddeyejinsol
Summary: cliques collide when top student jungeun is stuck tutoring notorious bad girl haseul. maybe they can both learn something.





	1. tell me something new

“God, you have got to be fucking kidding me!”

Sooyoung barely flinches; she's used to Haseul’s grand entrances. The girl had stormed into their secret hiding place beneath the bleachers, where Sooyoung was already sitting and smoking.

“You look like you need this,” Sooyoung says with raised eyebrows, passing the joint to Haseul, who accepts it readily and takes a deep hit.

“Jeong just called me into his office, said he’s _concerned_ about my grades,” she says on the exhale. “I’m not in good academic standing anymore, so I have to go through mandatory tutoring or else I’ll be suspended. How bullshit is that?!”

“Pretty stupid,” Sooyoung agrees, patting her friend’s knee. “Don’t even worry about it, though. You’re already smart, so with the tutoring you’ll be sure to raise your grades in no time.”

Haseul shakes her head. “It’s not like that. I have to do the tutoring till the end of the semester, even if my grades get better before then. And I asked if I could do it during study hall, but he said that’s up to my tutor. So if they’re not available then we’ll have to meet up outside of school…”

Sooyoung nods, instantly understanding her friend’s concern. “Well, if you ever need me to watch Yeojin, I’m down. Seriously, even if I have a girl over or something, you can just dump her in front of my TV until you’re done.”

Haseul sighs, remembering how much she loved her best friend. “Thanks, Sooyoungie.”

“Of course, dude.” Sooyoung crushes the roach under the tip of her steel-toed boot and stands up. “Wanna go write nasty shit about Principal Jeong in the boys’ bathroom?”

“You know it!”

On the other side of the bathroom wall that the girls are covering with crude depictions of Principal Jeong, there's a study hall in which three girls always sit together to eat lunch. They much prefer it to the cafeteria, which is often too noisy to study in. They each have a textbook out and are taking notes in comfortable silence until Jungeun speaks up.

“So, Principal Jeong just asked me to tutor someone,” Jungeun says to her friends. “He said it would get me extra credits if I actually helped raise her grades.”

“Jungie, that’s awesome!” Yerim said, clapping excitedly.

Jungeun stabs a carrot with her fork. “Yeah, well … it’s Haseul.”

Yerim’s eyes widen. “Jo Haseul? Oh. She’s kinda scary.”

“Understatement much?” Jungeun says dryly. Haseul is a senior and known by everyone as a rebel. She rides to school on a motorcycle, beast up guys who so much as look at her wrong, and she gets in trouble daily for violating the school dress code, constantly wearing leather jackets in the summer heat and sporting a tongue piercing.

“Whoa. That means you’ll probably get to meet Sooyoung,” Jinsol says, not without jealousy. Sooyoung is Haseul’s best friend, equally as notorious, and the two are attached at the hip.

Jungeun rolls her eyes. “Days without Jinsol mentioning her colossal crush on Sooyoung: zero.” Yerim pretends to write it down on her notepad, and Jinsol smacks her affectionately.

“I still don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Jinsol says. “You’re getting extra credit, teaching someone else is the best way to study for yourself, and now you know for sure that Haseul won't kill you cause she needs your help.”

Jungeun ponders her friend’s words. “Well, when you put it that way, it might not be so bad. Alright, anyone wanna go over these chem flashcards with me?”

* * *

The next morning, between second and third period, Jungeun musters up the courage to approach Haseul. Everyone knows which locker belongs to Haseul due to her spray painting it black rather than the school's signature blue. Although the hall is pretty busy with students moving to and from class, everybody leaves a good amount of space when they walk past Haseul, like she's emitting a forcefield. That definitely doesn't help Jungeun feel any less intimidated, but nonetheless she sucks it up and approaches her.

“Hi,” she says meekly, and Haseul pokes her head out from around the locker door, looking Jungeun up and down. Jungeun is surprised to note that Haseul doesn't look malicious at all. Irritated and clearly not wanting to talk to Jungeun, sure, but she doesn't look _mean._

“What,” Haseul says flatly.

“I’m Jungeun.” She sticks her hand out for a shake, but Haseul just stares at it like she’d been offered a dead rat. Turning red, Jungeun withdraws her arm and adds, “Principal Jeong has assigned me as your tutor.”

Recognition dawns on Haseul’s face. “Ah, yeah. Are you free on Thursday, last period?”

“No, I have math…” Haseul scowls fiercely and slams the locker door shut, making Jungeun jump in the middle of her sentence. She grabs Jungeun’s arm without warning, and Jungeun lets out a pitiful squeak, sure that she's about to be shoved into a locker, but Haseul simply pulls a Sharpie from behind her ear and writes a number on Jungeun’s forearm in blocky handwriting. The warmth of her hand around Jungeun’s wrist is surprising against the coolness of her metal rings.

“Text me and we’ll figure out a time and place,” she says.

“Do you just keep that on you all the time?” Jungeun blurts, the mixture of fear and confusion impeding her filter. Haseul gives her that flat look again and caps the marker.

“You never know when the artistic inspiration is going to strike,” she says with a shrug, and then takes off in the opposite direction, clearly not feeling the need to say goodbye. Jungeun stares after her for a good few moments before realizing she's gonna be late to class. Well, at least now she knows who's always writing lewd poetry in the girls’ bathroom on the third floor.

Despite running the rest of the way, she's still late, and the teacher gives her a withering look when she enters. She drops her head, turning red, and thankfully spots her friend Jiwoo waving at her from the back.

“She put us into pairs, but I waited for you cause I knew you’d come,” Jiwoo says in greeting to Jungeun when she sits beside her. “Can’t say I wasn’t surprised, though. Have you ever been late to anything in your life before?”

“I was talking to Haseul,” Jungeun says defensively, pulling out her pencil case.

“Wait, Jo Haseul? Why, do you owe her something and now you have to like, join the mafia?” Jiwoo’s eyes are round.

“No, nothing like that, stupid,” Jungeun grumbles. “I’m supposed to be tutoring her. Although I have a feeling she’s gonna blow me off.”

“Damn. Well, clearly she’s already rubbing off on you, slowpoke,” Jiwoo teases, and Jungeun pokes her with a pencil, making her squeal.

“Okay, let’s get started now, for real. We’ve already lost three minutes of precious time and I’ll be damned if Heejin and Hyunjin beat us out again...”

It isn't until much later that night, holed up in her room and desperately needing a study break, that she decides to text Haseul.

 **kjungeun:** hi it’s jungeun, your tutor!

 **whited0ve:** yeah. when are we doing this?

 **kjungeun:** well it has to be twice a week, so tuesdays and thursdays after school?

 **whited0ve:** fuck’s sake

 **whited0ve:** fine. where?

 **kjungeun:** one of our houses?

 **whited0ve:** yours. see you in the parking lot on tuesday.

Jungeun tosses her phone aside, feeling annoyed at Haseul’s prickliness. But really, what did she expect? The girl clearly doesn't like anyone except Sooyoung. Still, there's some part of Jungeun that's determined to get along with her. Sometimes her own perfectionism is tiring.

* * *

Jungeun barely retains any information during Tuesday’s last period, instead agonizing over her impending meeting with Haseul. She still doesn't know why she's so nervous around the girl; she supposes it's definitely an intentional effect on Haseul’s part. She just gives off this aura that clearly says  _do not fucking talk to me_.

Even when Jungeun walks into the parking lot, she sees that Haseul is standing way on the other side, far away from where the rest of the students are chatting outside their cars. She's leaning against her motorcycle and smoking, looking off to the side even as Jungeun draws nearer.

“You know, you’re not allowed to do that,” Jungeun says, half horrified and half mesmerized by the cigarette dangling loosely from Haseul’s fingers.

“It’s 3:03, so school’s out. What are they gonna do, beat my ass?” Still though, she stubs the cigarette out under her boot and retrieves a helmet from the side of her bike, which she hands to Jungeun. Well, more like forces into her hands.

“Uh, why am I holding this?” she asks, as Haseul slings a leg over the bike. She looks at Jungeun like she's being painfully stupid.

“Because you have to put it on if you’re gonna ride,” she says, enunciating slowly.

Jungeun’s jaw drops. “What! There’s no way I’m riding this thing. Why can’t we take the bus?”

Haseul rolls her eyes. “You can take the bus if you want. I’m riding.” As if to accentuate her point, she kicks the pedal and puts the bike into gear.

“Fine, fine!” Jungeun relents. “God, I’m going to be so embarrassed if this is how I die.” She gingerly hops onto the back of the bike and puts the helmet on. She's struggling with it, but Haseul makes no move to help, looking off into the distance like she's bored.

Once Jungeun has it on, Haseul says, “trust me, you’re going to want to hold on,” and moves Jungeun’s arms so they're wrapped around her waist. Haseul is surprisingly small and fits in Jungeun’s arms easily, and her skin is warm through the thin cotton of her t-shirt.

“Wait, where’s your h—” Jungeun’s sentence is interrupted with a shrill scream when Haseul starts the bike with no warning whatsoever, taking off at what already feels like a hundred miles per hour. Jungeun is gripping on for dear life now, probably crushing Haseul, but she's too terrified to care. This is worse than the time Yerim forced her and Jinsol on that roller coaster. Twice.

She keeps her eyes shut tightly the entire ride, praying hard to any god listening that they wouldn’t crash, and when she finally feels the evil machine slow to a park she wants to cry with happiness. She yanks the helmet off and immediately jumps off the bike, but her balance is off and she tumbles. Haseul catches her with surprising quickness, though, helping her stand upright.

“You do that every day? _Willingly?_ ” Jungeun breathes hard and tries to regain her composure. Haseul just looks like she's trying not to laugh.

“The first time can be pretty rough, but it gets fun,” Haseul says with a shrug. Jungeun incredulously mouths  _fun?_ , but Haseul's already started sauntering down the driveway like it was her own house. Jungeun makes a frustrated noise and throws the helmet down, tugging her keys out as she follows Haseul. She may have survived that ride, but she has a feeling this girl is definitely going to kill her.

Haseul looks around curiously as she slowly walks into Jungeun’s spacious home. “Damn, this place is is big,” she comments.

“I guess,” Jungeun says. It's slightly disconcerting to see Haseul in her home. Her parents are super uptight about keeping their home minimalist-white and sparkling clean, and Haseul in her all-black outfit stands out like a sore thumb. Honestly, it's kind of refreshing to see; it can get very tiring living with her parents’ obsessive rules.

“Like, my whole apartment could fit in this room,” Haseul continues, walking into the dining room and slinging her bag over one of the chairs at the table. “Where are your parents, though?”

“They’re both doctors. They work late,” Jungeun explains, sitting beside Haseul in one of the chairs and beginning to take her study materials out.

“Ah, I see. So you’re following in their footsteps, then,” Haseul says, looking pointedly at Jungeun’s color-coded notes.

“Yeah, probably.” Jungeun clears her throat. “Let’s start with History?”

The girls study together in relative harmony for about an hour. Jungeun expects Haseul to give her lots of shit, but while the girl is fidgety and distracted at first, she soon gets immersed in the work. It's flowing far smoother than Jungeun had thought it would, and when she gives Haseul an impromptu mini-quiz, she gets a 90%.

“You’re doing really well,” Jungeun says, unable to keep the surprise out of her voice.

Haseul makes a face and snatches the quiz sheet back. “Don’t talk down to me, Einstein.”

Jungeun flushes. “I didn’t mean it like that! Just, you already seem to know most of this, so how come you’re failing?”

“I thought we were studying the Spanish Inquisition, not living it, Jesus. Can we go back to studying?” Haseul says, folding her arms. Jungeun can see the girl getting defensive, so she decides to drop it and go back to the books.

They study without further interruptions until they hear the front door opening. Haseul’s eyes dart to the clock and she swears rather loudly.

“Fuck, I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. I need to go,” she says, hurriedly sweeping her stuff off the table and into her bag. Jungeun’s mother enters the room a moment later, and by the unamused expression on her face Jungeun can tell that she had heard Haseul’s colorful language.

“Hi, sweetie,” her mother says to her. “Who’s … this?” She gives Haseul a contemptuous up-and-down glance, and to Jungeun’s horror (but mild delight), Haseul returns the look, crinkling her nose like she smells something bad.

“See you on Thursday,” she says to Jungeun, completely ignoring her mother and strolling out of the house, not waiting for Jungeun to see her out. Mrs. Kim looks after her in shock, and when they heard the sound of the door closing, she says, “Jungeun, who on earth was that rude young woman?”

“Just this girl I’m tutoring for extra credit,” Jungeun says quickly. Even though she barely knows the girl, she feels defensive of her, knowing that her mother is judging her harshly like she did with basically everyone.

“Hopefully you can teach her some manners too,” Mrs. Kim says haughtily. She pats Jungeun’s shoulder affectionately and turns to go up the stairs to her room, missing the way Jungeun petulantly sticks her tongue out at her retreating back.

Less than ten minutes later, Haseul bursts through the door of her own apartment. She's relieved to find her sister sitting on the couch, noisily eating a bowl of instant ramen and watching the one channel that their busted black-and-white TV showed.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t pick you up from dance practice, I got caught up doing something,” Haseul sahys, breathing heavy from running up six flights of stairs.

“I’m not a kid, you know! I can walk myself home,” Yeojin says affrontedly, but pats the seat on the couch beside her. Haseul gladly slides down beside her, exhausted, and the sisters watch the TV in comfortable silence. She still feels guilty, though, even more so when she looks at Yeojin’s dinner. What are Jungeun and her family eating right now? Probably roasted duck and oysters.

“Hey, you don’t mind that we don’t live in a big house with like twenty rooms and a garden, right?” she asks.

Yeojin scoffs. “You kidding? What are we, rich old-money capitalist scum?”

Haseul laughs, even though she knows that Yeojin is just saying that to make her feel better, and she wraps her sister in a one-armed hug. Even though things can get pretty rough sometimes, she always has a reason to keep going.

* * *

  **whited0ve:** hey. i work this thursday, can we study earlier?

 **kjungeun:** … earlier how? we usually meet when school ends?

 **whited0ve:** just skip your last class

 **kjungeun:** what?! no way, i’ve never skipped class before

 **whited0ve:** come on, we’ll still be studying

 **kjungeun:** no!!

Still, though, Jungeun’s math class on Thursday is interrupted five minutes in by Haseul walking straight through the door without bothering to knock. “Principal wants to see Kim Jungeun,” she announces, looking bored. “He said to bring your stuff, you’re not coming back.”

“Um … alright. Jungeun, you can go,” the teacher says, at first looking like she was going to argue but deciding against it after a threatening look from Haseul. Jungeun packs her backpack quickly, fully aware of all the eyes on her. You only get called out of class like that when you were being sent home, and she knows the whole class is wondering what _she_ possibly could have done to warrant that.

“What the hell are you doing?” Jungeun hisses as soon as they're far enough past the classroom door. “I told you I’m not skipping!”

“Looks like you already are,” Haseul says innocently. “Come on, I know you have a 98 in math, skipping one class won’t kill you.” She pauses in front of a bathroom with an ‘out of order’ sign, and to Jungeun’s surprise, she pulls out a key and unlocks it. When they walk in, Jungeun realizes it's decked out with several chairs from classrooms and even a computer from one of the labs.

“Sooyoung and I hang out here a lot,” Haseul says by way of explanation. “We took the key from one of the janitors and hung up that sign ourselves, and the staff is so fucking dumb they haven’t questioned it since.”

“I mean, something’s always out of order in this school, so it’s not that unrealistic,” Jungeun murmurs, still slightly in awe at the makeshift secret room.

Haseul laughs, which is such an unfamiliar sound it almost makes Jungeun drop her bag. “You’re not wrong about that,” she says, taking a seat in one of the chairs.

Jungeun follows suit. Feeling emboldened by Haseul’s almost-friendliness, she asks, “so where do you work, anyway?”

“I bartend,” Haseul says. “Only at nights, though. I also do security at the Urban Outfitters at the mall sometimes.”

“Are you even old enough to drink?” Jungeun asks incredulously. “And nights at a bar? How late do you get home?!”

“I lied on my CV, duh,” Haseul says, somewhat snappishly. “It closes at 2 am but by the time I’m done it’s usually 3, and I get to bed by 4.” She looks at Jungeun as if daring her to say something, but Jungeun knows when to back down.

“So, security at UO? Really?” she asks.

Haseul’s mouth twitches. “I’m not very big, but I can fight. I haven’t had to, though. I’ve been told that my shift is the only time those little teeny bopper brats don't try to shoplift thongs and nail polish.”

“It’s almost like they’re scared of you or something. Wonder why,” Jungeun mutters, and Haseul almost smiles. Almost.


	2. take a walk on the wild side

The next morning, Jungeun’s friends ambush her as soon as she walks into school.

“Hey! We heard Jeong had you pulled out of class yesterday,” Yerim says, falling into step with Jungeun with Jinsol flanking her other side. “What happened?”

“Nothing gets past you two, huh?” Jungeun says, shaking her head. “It wasn’t even the principal. Haseul dragged me out of class to study with her cause she had work when we were supposed to be meeting.”

Jinsol gapes at her. “Can she just do that? Also, she _works_? Somehow I can’t imagine her putting that much effort into anything.”

“That’s not very nice,” Yerim scolds.

“Yeah, well she has another job, too,” Jungeun replies. “Maybe that’s why she’s flunking out. She’s not focusing enough on her schoolwork.”

“Well, I happen to be in dance class with her sister Yeojin,” Yerim says, in a sharp tone she rarely uses, “and not that it’s any of your business, but their parents aren’t in the picture. Haseul probably works two jobs to support herself and her sister, so don’t be so judgmental. Besides, you skipped class to go tutor her, maybe you should be focusing on your schoolwork yourself.” Giving Jungeun a disappointed mom look, she walks off, leaving the two girls.

Jinsol whistles. “Oof! She really got you.”

“Shut up,” Jungeun mutters, smacking her arm, but Yerim’s words ring through loud and clear. She feels guilt, heavy in her stomach, when she recalls all the less-than-kind thoughts she’d had about Haseul. No wonder the girl is failing. Jungeun can't imagine the amount of work she must be doing to keep herself and her sister afloat, let alone the amount of stress that that must bring with it. Jungeun is far too sheltered to realistically imagine being in that situation, but she knows damn well she wouldn’t be handling it as well as Haseul.

She's trying hard not to dwell on it, already feeling weird about knowing such a personal thing about Haseul, but she can't help how it changes her perspective of the girl. When Haseul is late to their next study meeting, instead of being irritated, Jungeun wonders whether she’d had to drive her sister home from school first. Even as she sits across the table, scribbling away with her tongue sticking out in concentration, Jungeun feels a weird pang of sadness for this girl she barely knows.

“Hellooo?” Haseul waves her hand in front of Jungeun’s face, bringing her back to reality. “I’m done with this question. Where’d you go, Teach?”

“Sorry.” Jungeun takes the paper, beginning to mark Haseul’s answer absently. “Just, uh, didn’t get much sleep.”

Haseul stretches out, propping her boots up on the table. “Tell me about it. I closed at the bar last night, only got like half an hour of sleep before I had to wake my sister up,” she says.

 _And here I was complaining about my 5 hours …_ “That sucks,” Jungeun says. “How was it? The shift, I mean.”

Haseul looks at her strangely, probably confused by the conversational question, but she replies, “it was okay, I guess. It wasn’t really busy, but that just meant it was boring as hell.”

“I mean, you’re surrounded by alcohol, you could easily make it less boring,” Jungeun points out.

“Are you saying I should not only steal from my workplace but alsobe intoxicated on the job?” Haseul says indignantly.

Jungeun chokes on air. “What? N-no! That’s not what I meant at all, just—” Realizing Haseul is trying to contain a smile, she quickly shuts her mouth.

“You should see your face,” Haseul laughs, a sound that is still unfamiliar to Jungeun. “No, of course I drink on the job, are you kidding? None of the watered down bullshit we serve at happy hour, though. Top shelf shit only.”

They both share a grin, and then Haseul goes back to her page without having to be asked. It makes Jungeun feel almost proud, like she's actually Haseul’s teacher or something. To say that they're friends is a huge stretch, but they're definitely less awkward strangers than the beginning.

“Jungeun, dinner in ten minutes!” she hears her mom call from upstairs. She sighs at the not-so-subtle reminder to make Haseul leave. Usually her mom would ask her friends to stay for dinner, never wanting to pass up the opportunity to show off her perfect life while also judging others, but she had taken a dislike to Haseul since their first meeting and wasn’t afraid to make it clear to them.

Haseul rolls her eyes and begins packing her stuff. “Shame I don’t like her either, cause dinner smells really good.”

“You can take some to go,” Jungeun says, but Haseul shakes her head automatically.

“Nah, I’m g— actually, yeah maybe. My sister really likes lasagna,” she says.

Jungeun nods and goes to the kitchen to fix a plate before her parents come down. It amazes her how, despite Haseul’s tough-as-nails exterior, she clearly cares greatly about her sister, putting her before anything. Even her own pride. The girl is definitely lucky to have her.

“I hope she enjoys it,” Jungeun says when she hands Haseul the biggest Tupperware she could find. “You should have some too, though, it’s good.”

“Damn, did you leave any for you guys?” Haseul laughs, looking at the almost-overstuffed container. Then, quieter, “thank you.” It's obvious from the way her eyes flit down that she's uncomfortable with those words, so Jungeun doesn't make a big deal out of it, just nodding and waving Haseul out. Somehow, she has the feeling Haseul isn't going to save any for herself.

* * *

 “So, how’s the tutoring going?” Sooyoung asks, slurping her milkshake. Last night Haseul had a drunk customer who accidentally tipped her $100, so she and Sooyoung leave school for the lunch hour to go to their favorite diner.

Haseul swallows her obnoxiously large bite of burger before answering. “Not as bad as I thought it would be,” she says, truthfully. “Honestly, I’m just pissed that I was doing badly enough to need tutoring in the first place. I guess I got too comfortable with coasting by.”

“Hey, life gets in the way sometimes,” Sooyoung shrugs. “At least you’re already kinda smart plus you’re actually trying now, so you’ll be fine. Meanwhile, I’m pretty much one missed class away from flunking out.”

Haseul shakes her head in amusement. Sooyoung probably isn't exaggerating, but Haseul knew she doesn't care. She's only finishing high school as a formality; everyone, including her teachers, knows that the only thing she actually gives a shit about is dance, and Haseul recalls with a hint of pride that her best friend had already gotten into Seoul’s best dance college on early admission.

“She’s pretty cute, isn’t she?” Sooyoung adds.

“What, Jungeun?” Haseul asks, caught off guard.

“I regret calling you kinda smart,” Sooyoung says, and Haseul throws french fry at her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Haseul concludes. She hasn't really thought about that at all — honestly, Jungeun comes off about as sexual as a plant to her. But if she really thinks about it, and takes into consideration the way her cheeks color when Haseul teases her, or her startled laugh when she's surprised that Haseul can be funny, or even the irritated glare that Haseul has been on the receiving end of more times than she could count … yeah, maybe she's kinda cute.

“You know who’s the real cutie, though?” Sooyoung continues, not noticing Haseul’s long pause. “That tall blonde girl she’s always walking around with.”

“Doesn’t ring a bell …”

“I think she’s the one who wore an eyepatch most of last year cause Kim Hyunjin whacked her in the face with a volleyball?” Sooyoung prompts.

“Oh, yeah. I think she’s called Jinsol?” Now that she thinks about it, Haseul does recall seeing Jungeun with her a few times around campus.

“Noted,” Sooyoung says, and usually the evil grin on her face would prompt Haseul to talk her out of whatever she was planning on doing, but she's still a bit distracted, thinking of Jungeun, nibbling her pen cap when a question was particularly hard. Yeah, she's kinda cute.

* * *

  **whited0ve:** hey im gonna be late, gotta pick my sister up from the mall

 **kjungeun:** ok! i can also just come with if u want & she can chill at my house while we study

 **whited0ve:** … you sure? how’s mommy gonna feel about that

 **kjungeun:** never mind that

 **whited0ve:** ok thanks

 **kjungeun:** one condition though. can we please take the bus

 **whited0ve:** u wish!!!

Although Jungeun is _not_ looking forward to riding the dreaded motorcycle again, it's beyond amusing to see the little sidecar that Haseul has attached for a third passenger.

“Laugh at it and you’ll be riding in it,” Haseul threatens, so Jungeun just mimes zipping her lips shut and hops in her now-usual spot behind Haseul. Her arms find Haseul’s waist instinctively, but she almost lets go like she’s been burned when she realizes Haseul is wearing a crop top and her hands are resting directly on warm skin. Haseul doesn't seem to notice, whistling casually as she zips through the streets. _Yeah, cause you’re the only touch starved dyke here,_ Jungeun scolds herself.

When they reach the mall, Haseul checks her battered flip-phone. “Okay, Yeojin’s almost done with lunch with her friends. Wanna troll around Urban Outfitters for a while?”

“Sure,” says Jungeun. When they walk into the store, a short blonde girl waves at Haseul from behind the counter. “Oh, this is the one where you work?”

“Yeah, that was Chaewon,” Haseul says. “The only person working here who’s actually cool. We always coordinate our lunch breaks and smoke together.”

“That sounds fun,” Jungeun says, although she personally can't think of anything that sounds more nightmarish than trying to work retail while high. Well, maybe that’s because she’s just never been high herself. Being around Haseul never fails to remind her how inexperienced she is by comparison.

“This is cute,” she says, picking up a little snow globe. She puts it back immediately after seeing the price on the bottom, though. “That’s way too expensive for something that probably cost 50 cents to make,” she said.

“I know, right?” Haseul says. “This place overcharges the shit out of everything cause only rich teens with their parents’ credit cards shop here. Just pocket it, though.”

Jungeun chokes on air. "Like, steal it?!” Jungeun’s eyes dart nervously to Chaewon, who is focused on her phone.

“Yeah, duh. Chaewon won’t say shit, and neither will I obviously,” Haseul says.

“Uh. Maybe. Let’s look at the jewelry first,” Jungeun says, putting it back quickly. She's continually shocked at how bold Haseul was, in every aspect. Not necessarily in a bad way, though. If anything, in a twisted sort of way, Jungeun wishes she was more of a risk-taker like her. (Even if she was, though, she probably still wouldn’t do it. Stealing is wrong, right? Like, morally?)

She's saved a few minutes later by the beep of Haseul’s phone. “Okay, Yeojin’s done, let’s go,” Haseul says, walking briskly out of the store with a wave goodbye at Chae. Once they turn the corner, Haseul reaches into one of the pockets of her leather jacket and procures the little snowglobe, holding it out to Jungeun.

Jungeun’s jaw drops. “Wh— when did you even take this?!”

“As soon as you put it back cause I knew you were too much of a pussy to take it yourself,” Haseul says, sounding amused.

“Well, excuse me if I don’t want a criminal record!” Jungeun says, affronted.

“Okay, damn, I’ll keep it then,” Haseul says, drawing her hand back, but Jungeun grabs her wrist to stop her. Haseul raises an eyebrow at Jungeun, who quickly snatches away the snowglobe, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t still want it,” she mutters, and Haseul scoffs at her. Thankfully, Haseul’s sister arrives just then, cutting off whatever snarky comment Haseul was about to make. She bounds up and almost knocks Haseul over with a barrel hug.

“Easy, energizer bunny,” Haseul says, poking her sister’s cheek.

“Who’s this?” the small girl asks curiously. Jungeun feels a little nervous, for some reason. Maybe it's because she's meeting the one person Haseul cared about more than anybody, and she really doesn't want to make a bad first impression. She already has enough difficulty assessing whether Haseul liked her or not.

“This is Jungeun, my tutor. Jungeun, this is my little sister, Yeojin,” Haseul introduces, and Jungeun smiles at her. Haseul adds, “hey, I got you this,” and pulls a packet of stickers out of her other pocket. _Wait, when the hell did she take that? She’s good._

Yeojin beams. “Thank you, Seulie! I’m gonna put these all over my diary,” she says gleefully, and it makes Jungeun’s heart wrench a little to see the genuine smile on Haseul’s face at how happy her sister is. _Haseul_ and _soft_ are two words she’d never put in a sentence together, but seeing Haseul interact with her sister reminds her that there's a lot about Haseul she doesn't know.

Yeojin is as much of a daredevil as her sister, willingly calling dibs on the side-seat of the motorcycle and shrieking with glee for the whole ride there. Her energy doesn't diminish when they arrive at Jungeun’s house; if anything, she gets even more hyped, flitting around the living room like a dragonfly.

“Whoa, this TV is huge!” she exclaims, then, “man, this rug is so soft, I could sleep here!”, then, “are these chocolate-covered almonds? Can I have one?”

“You can have as many as you want,” Jungeun says, and Yeojin seems to take that quite literally, grabbing the whole bowl and sinking down on the couch.

“We’re gonna study in the dining room. Don’t touch anything,” Haseul instructs firmly, and then the two go off to their usual study spot.

“Thanks for having my sister over,” Haseul says when they sit. “She can be … a lot. And I know your mom already doesn’t like me.” This part she says with a sarcastic chuckle.

“My mom doesn’t like anyone, and your sister’s great,” Jungeun says firmly. “She’s welcome here at any time.” The sentence comes out with more force than necessary, but she can't let Haseul think for a minute that she's anything like her judgmental mother. Haseul seems to get the message, relaxing visibly and giving Jungeun a smile. A real smile, her eyes turning into little half-moons and a dimple appearing in one cheek.

Maybe Jungeun lets her gaze linger a bit too long before looking away. “Okay, algebra today?”

It's barely five minutes before their studying is interrupted by a loud crashing sound from the living room. Both girls jump out of their chairs on instinct, and to Jungeun’s dread she also hears the sound of her mother barrelling down the stairs.

“What the hell was that?” Mrs. Kim gasps, arriving in the living room at the same time the girls do. Yeojin is standing wide-eyed beside the large window overlooking the garden, which now had a large hole in the middle of it.

“Uh...I tried throwing that boomerang-looking thing but it didn’t come back,” she says meekly.

Mrs. Kim looks like she's on the verge of having an aneurysm. “That wasn’t a _boomerang_ , it was a sculpture that costs more than your tuition, you stupid girl!”

“Back the fuck off,” Haseul snaps, her menacing aura instantly coming back, and Mrs. Kim’s eyes practically bulge out of her head.

“Jungeun, get these girls out of my house. _Now!_ ”

“Mom, we’re not done studying—”

“Then you go too!” she barks. “I mean it!”

“Fine!” said Jungeun, not hesitating before turning on her heel. Haseul and Yeojin follow suit quickly, with Yeojin actually _growling_ at Mrs. Kim as she walks out, making the woman jump. By the time they're halfway down the driveway, Haseul and Yeojin have broken out into peals of laughter, nudging each other and imitating the look on Mrs. Kim’s face.

“Sorry my mom is so neurotic,” Jungeun mutters, beyond embarrassed.

“Are you kidding? That was gold,” Yeojin splutters. “Oh my god, Seul, when you swore at her I swear she was gonna faint. She was shook as hell!”

“I mean. That was kinda funny,” Jungeun allows, grinning despite herself as she hops onto the motorcycle. She knows she's in for a reaming when she gets home … well, actually, she doesn't really know what she's in for. She's always been a model child, desperate to gain the approval of her parents, and she genuinely can't remember the last time she’d fought with them or been grounded.

She really doesn't care, though. It's so refreshing to see someone stand up to her mother. She's just ashamed that it hadn’t been her. That Haseul, who’d only met the woman twice, is braver than Jungeun had been in all her life.

“Wait, where are we going?” she yells in Haseul’s ear, over the roar of the wind.

“My house,” Haseul yells back, piquing Jungeun’s interest. Their study sessions have always been at Jungeun’s place, and she's curious to see where Haseul lives. As it was, Haseul’s house isn't too far from Jungeun’s own; she actually passes it almost every day on the bus ride to school. It's a tall, narrow brick building with a rickety spiral fire escape.

“Prepare yourself, it’s six flights up,” Haseul had said when they entered the building, but Jungeun still isn't prepared. She's already embarrassingly out of breath by the third flight of stairs, while Haseul and Yeojin are chatting away like it's nothing more than a light walk.

 _Maybe this is why she’s so toned_ , Jungeun’s brain unhelpfully supplies. She tries to avert her thoughts, but it's hard to think of anything else when Haseul is climbing the stairs in front of her and she's at direct eye level with Haseul’s thighs, looking unfairly good in her signature skinny jeans. So maybe Jungeun’s breathlessness can't  _entirely_ be attributed to the stairs. She doesn't know whether that makes it better or worse.

After what feels like hours, they finally reach Haseul’s apartment and Jungeun throws herself down onto the nearest surface, trying to catch her breath. It's a beat-up looking orange sofa, with clear indents indicating where the two sisters usually sit. It's odd, but full of character. That seems to be the theme for the rest of the apartment, too; the furniture is mismatched and looks like it all came from different decades, but it works, in its own kitschy way.

“I know it's kinda small,” Haseul says, misunderstanding the way Jungeun was inspecting the house.

“No, not at all. It’s really nice,” Jungeun says earnestly. Haseul doesn't look like she's convinced, so she adds, “I really like that lamp, it’s cool.” The lamp in question is designed to look like a mushroom and is one of the ugliest things Jungeun has ever seen, but the compliment seems to put Haseul at ease.

“Yeojin picked it out at a garage sale,” she says, and sits on the couch beside Jungeun. Yeojin is quick to join, sitting across from them in a floral-patterned armchair.

“Do you guys wanna like, play Monopoly or something?” Yeojin asks. “Haseul never brings anyone home except Sooyoung so this is fun.”

Haseul tugs her sister's ear affectionately. “Shut up, twerp. And no, we have to study.”

Yeojin pouts at Jungeun. “You’re the teacher, right? Can we play? _Please?_ ’

Jungeun can't say no to Yeojin's puppy eyes, and honestly, she doesn't want to. She's intrigued by this little family, and she’d be lying if she says she isn't curious to see Haseul doing something as trivial as playing Monopoly. “Fine. Just this once though,” she relents, and Yeojin whoops with glee, scrambling to get the board.

"You don't have to, you know," Haseul says. "Indulge her, I mean."

Jungeun frowns. "Okay, I'm not great at social cues. Do you want me to leave?"

"Believe me, if I wanted you to leave I wouldn't mince my words," Haseul snorts. "Just saying, like, don't feel like you need to be here."

"I don't, honest. Also, we left all our books at my house, so it's not like we can do anything else," she points out. Yeojin returns then, but Haseul acknowledges her with a nod and a tight smile. Jungeun can tell that the girl is on the defensive for some reason.  _Yeojin did say she never brings anyone home, maybe it's just awkward for her_ , she reasons with herself, and then Yeojin begins reading the rules very loudly and Jungeun can't get lost in her thoughts even if she wants to.

Jungeun finds that Haseul plays Monopoly the way she seems to do most things: with very little effort, but somehow succeeding. She definitely does better than Jungeun, but they're both no match for Yeojin, who racks up almost all the properties and sends them both millions into debt.

It turns out that they don't have to worry about skipping that study session, either, because the next week Haseul approaches Jungeun at her locker with a shit-eating grin. Jinsol is with her, chatting away about some math tournament, but the sight of Haseul expressing joy is enough to shock her into silence.

“Look,” Haseul says proudly, brandishing her test paper. There's a big red B+ scribbled across the top.

“Hey, this is great!” Jungeun says excitedly. “You’re doing so well already!”

Haseul nods. “Yeah! That means we can probably cut our study sessions down to once a week, right?”

“Uh. Yeah, of course,” Jungeun says, her good mood suddenly dampened.

A tall girl that Jungeun easily recognizes as Sooyoung saunters down the hallway, tapping Haseul’s shoulder. “Are we going to Bio today or?” she says by way of greeting. She gives Jungeun a cursory nod, recognizing her as Haseul’s tutor, but her gaze stops when she sees Jinsol.

“Hey. Jinsol, is it?” she asks casually, and Jinsol makes a choking sound but manages to nod.

“I’m throwing a house party next weekend. You should come. Both of you,” she adds courteously, but then her gaze flickers back to Jinsol and she smirks. “Wear something easy to slip out of.”

“Okay, Casanova,” Haseul says with an eyeroll, dragging her friend away. Jinsol instantly turns to her friend, wide-eyed and quickly turning red. “You just saw that, right? It wasn’t just me dreaming? Because that was definitely straight out of my dreams what the _fuck_.”

Yerim arrives soon after and they all walk to class together, Jinsol still screaming about Sooyoung, but Jungeun is distracted. It makes no sense but Haseul wanting to meet up less often kind of made her … upset? No, that's much too strong a word, but she definitely feels some sort of way about it. Obviously she knows that studying isn't exactly how Haseul (or anyone) would want to spend their free time, and it isn't anything personal, but still. At this point, she kind of enjoys seeing Haseul, and maybe she wants Haseul to want to see her too.

Her phone lights up with a new message.

 **whited0ve:** pls actually come 2 sooyoung’s party idk if i can handle her alone

Jungeun types out a quick reply, agreeing before even really thinking about it, and then turns her phone off as she enters the classroom. She's more than ready to tackle algebra. At least it'll definitely be less confusing than what's going on in her head right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im having lots of fun writing this hehe i hope yall enjoy!
> 
> twt: @bluejinsol  
> cc: @oddeyejinsol


	3. instant crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> highly recommend listening to instant crush by daft punk during the party scene cause i know i was!! lmao

“So, the usual today?” the hairdresser says, combing through Jungeun’s locks. “Just a little trim?”

“Yeah, sure,” Jungeun says, slightly lost. She's usually dragged to the salon by her mother, but since they still aren't on speaking terms she's opted to go alone this time. She's about as lost as she could possibly be, but thankfully her usual hairdresser recognized her and waved her through.

“You’re a little earlier than usual,” he notes, snipping away. “Once every two months is your schedule, right? Is there a special occasion?”

Jungeun isn't a great conversationalist, but she figures, why not? Hairdressers are the people you're supposed to pour your heart out to, right? Along with makeup artists and nail techs?

“I’m going to this party on Friday,” she admits. “I’m not really a party person, though, so I guess I’m a little nervous.”

“So you’re looking for something special,” the hairdresser muses, taking a step back to assess Jungeun’s head. He adds, “you know, I’d never suggest this with your mother around, but I think you’d make a gorgeous blonde. What do you think?”

Jungeun’s first instinct is to give a flat-out no, but Haseul’s chiding words from the mall ring in her ears. _I knew you were too much of a pussy_. She hates to admit it, but the girl is right. Jungeun is the exact opposite of a risk-taker, preferring to analyze every decision painstakingly before coming to a conclusion. When was the last time she’d done something spontaneous?

“You know what? Go for it,” she says, before her sudden wave of boldness can pass. The hairdresser grins in excitement, running to get the bleach, and in two hours’ time Jungeun is staring at a complete stranger in the mirror. A kind of gorgeous stranger, if she could say so herself, her face framed beautifully by the glossy platinum sheets.

The hairdresser is beyond pleased, insisting on taking photos of her for his portfolio, and she notices how she turns several heads on the walk back home. More than all that, though, it feels  _good_ to do something indulgent for herself. Even if her mother throws a fit when she sees it and threatens to dye it back while Jungeun sleeps.

On the other side of town, in the bathroom of Sooyoung’s spacious home, Haseul is undergoing a transformation of her own.

“I’m sorry,” Sooyoung says meekly for the fiftieth time, struggling to be heard over the sound of Haseul’s scissors chopping aggressively. She’d accidentally set fire to Haseul’s hair while attempting to light the bong with her parents’ fancy new brulee blowtorch, and yeah, maybe it's kind of Haseul’s fault too for agreeing to take the rip. They’d set it out without any injuries, but a large portion of Haseul’s hair was charred beyond repair, which was why she's now snipping it off at chin level.

“Don’t even talk to me, I might kill you,” Haseul mutters, shaking her head so that stray bits of hair fly everywhere. Sooyoung cringes internally, thinking about having to clean all that up later, but she's wise enough not to say anything, instead choosing to beg for forgiveness a little more.

Haseul is exaggerating, though; by the time she's done with her impromptu haircut, she's already over it. In fact, she's kind of digging her new look. She’d miss the feeling of the wind in her hair when she rode her bike, but the blunt bob is definitely to her liking.

Sooyoung seems to agree, letting out a low whistle when Haseul turns around to show her. “Honestly, if we weren’t already so deep into our friendship I’d probably jump your bones right now,” she says matter-of-factly.

Haseul snorts, picking the scissors back up to even out the ends a little. “At what point in our friendship did I stop being fuckable to you?”

“Probably that time you puked on my white shoes after drinking three grape 4Lokos,” Sooyoung says. “Anyway, I’ve set my sights on someone new, and I might just get lucky at this party. Fingers crossed!”

“You’re disgusting,” Haseul chides, deciding she's satisfied with her hair and going back to the kitchen for another drink.

“You’re just cranky cause you won’t be getting any,” Sooyoung says, following her. “I mean, you totally could though. I think your tutor has a little crush.”

Haseul frowns. “Jungeun? No way, dude.”

“Yes way,” Sooyoung insists, leaning over the counter. “She was making heart eyes at you when I saw you guys at the lockers.” She raises her eyebrows when Haseul doesn't reply. “If you don’t believe me, make a move at the party and see.”

Haseul just shakes her head, enjoying the new feeling of weightlessness. “I’m good, thanks,” she says. “Wanna finish watching Final Destination?”

Sooyoung agreed, even though it's only moments into the movie before she's cowering into Haseul’s side, peeking through her fingers and whimpering. Unfortunately, the terrible movie effects aren't enough to distract Haseul from fixating on what Sooyoung had just said.

Jungeun liking her doesn't seem possible. Wouldn’t she have picked up on it? Then again, it's not like she's great with social cues. A big part of the reason why she and Sooyoung are such good friends is because they're brutally honest with each other. Haseul never has to wonder how Sooyoung feels, and she knows she never has to hide her own feelings from Sooyoung. She has a similar relationship with her sister, even though Yeojin's candidness is often just plain rudeness.

Jungeun, however, is a big question mark to her. Haseul had assumed the worst — stuck up rich kid with perfect grades — but she had been wrong. Sure, she's a total straight-edge nerd, but she's cool in her own weird way, and isn't stuck up in the slightest. Just a little dewy-eyed.

And if Haseul's being completely honest with herself, she's weirdly anticipating seeing Jungeun at the party. That day at Haseul’s place was the only time they’d hung out outside of a studying context, and Haseul was surprised at how much she’d enjoyed it. The question she has to ask herself, she supposes, was whether she would have invited Jungeun to hang out again if Sooyoung hadn’t provided the opportunity.

A particularly loud scream from Sooyoung jolts her back to reality, and she laughs at the gory decapitation on the screen. “This is seriously scary to you, Sooyoung?” she askes, and the girls fall into their familiar banter as the movie continued, Haseul’s thoughts (thankfully) forgotten for the time being.

* * *

They have the rest of the week off school — something about an exterminator and fumigation (Jungeun _knew_ she’d seen a roach that one time in the cafeteria. Yerim just thought it was cute). Still, Jungeun spends her mini vacation studying hard to make up for all the time she was going to lose that weekend, especially since Jinsol had convinced her to get ready together before the party and then sleep over at Jinsol’s house.

When Jinsol sees Jungeun’s hair she actually _shrieks_ like an over-excited parrot, exclaiming that they were twins now and they had to wear matching outfits all the time and say creepy shit in unison like _The Shining_. Jungeun just waits for her to tire herself out, which she eventually does as always, and then Jungeun barely has time to set her stuff down before Jinsol demands that Jungeun help her put her hair into tiny braids to achieve waves.

“I still can’t believe Ha Sooyoung invited us to her house,” Jinsol muses, flipping through a magazine while Jungeun works on the back of her head. “Isn’t her place, like, notorious for parties? People always have the craziest stories, like that guy who made a gravity bong with this pot that turned out to be like, from the Tang Dynasty.”

“She does these regularly? Where are her parents?” Jungeun asks with slight disdain.

“Away on business all the time,” Jinsol says, growing more animated with the gossip. “They’re all like, perfect and rich, but she’s so _cool_. And rebellious. And hot!”

“It must be really tiring being inside your head,” Jungeun says, but Jinsol steamrolls on like she hadn’t heard.

“Jungie, do you think she’s actually … interested in me? Cause you know I’m hopelessly in love with her but this is all so sudden, don’t you think?”

“Well, she doesn’t seem to be the type to beat around the bush,” Jungeun reasons. “She’s telling you what she wants, so if you don’t wanna sleep with her or whatever she’s interested in, you should be honest with her too.” She adds silently in her head, _you should feel lucky — some people are a little more difficult to read._

Jinsol nods, then stills when Jungeun yanked on her hair. “Ow, okay, I’ll stop moving! Jeez. But thanks, Jungie, you’re right. I mean, I guess we’ll see what happens, right?”

Jinsol’s extravagant hairstyle takes longer than expected, and by the time they're done they're running late enough that Jinsol thankfully can't harass Jungeun too much about putting on makeup. She does manage to convince her to swipe on some red lipstick, and even Jungeun has to admit it looks nice, bold and bright against the paleness of her hair and skin. The whole look makes her feel like she's trying on a costume. Slipping into someone else’s skin, almost.

Maybe that’s why her nerves are substantially calmer than expected as they walk through the large doors of Sooyoung’s home. Or maybe she's having trouble thinking, her eyes struggling to adjust to the multi-colored flashing lighting. The place isn't crowded per se, but definitely full; threads of different conversations wind in and out of Jungeun’s hearing, and she and Jinsol bump into several people as they try to make their way around.

“You made it,” a voice suddenly purrs in her ear, making her turn around with a startled jump. It's Sooyoung, looking effortlessly cool in a cropped turtleneck and holding a red solo cup. Her grin turns into a look of confusion when she sees Jungeun’s face, though.

“You’re not Jinsol,” she frowns. “You’re … blonde?”

“Sooyoung!” Jinsol squeaks, all but shoving Jungeun out of the way. “H-hi!”

“Ah, hey. You had me tripping for a second,” Sooyoung says, the easy smile returning to her face. “Sick hair, though.”

“Thank you?” Jungeun replies, but Sooyoung is already tugging Jinsol away towards the drink table. The blonde looks over her shoulder and mouths  _sorry!_ , although she looks anything but apologetic, and then they both disappear into the swarm of people, leaving Jungeun by herself.

She starts to feel panic rise, but shoves it down, accepting the first cup that someone puts into her hand and drinking deeply from it. It tastes absolutely disgusting, but it does the trick; Jungeun’s low tolerance ensures that the alcohol relaxes her and makes everything a bit more fuzzy, which is definitely a good thing for Jungeun’s overworked mind.

She walks around absently for a while, nobody seeming to notice her as she slips in and out of the throngs. She probably could slip into conversation with any group of people, but she chooses to walk alone, her eyes searching the crowd. She doesn't know exactly what for until her sight zeroes in on a familiar leather jacket.

It's Haseul, of course, but … her _hair_ . It's short, a sleek curtain cut at the chin, accentuating her sharp jawline. Jungeun suddenly realizes that her neck was long and smooth, throat bobbing as she laughs at something the girl beside her says. Jungeun feels frozen in place, her heart hammering all of a sudden and definitely not because of the alcohol. She’d always known Haseul was attractive, objectively, but there's nothing objective about the way she looked right then. She's  _hot_.

As her luck would have it, Haseul looks her way. Although it's probably less luck and more Jungeun staring holes into the side of her face. Jungeun can see the exact moment she recognizes Jungeun under the unfamiliar hair, her eyes widening and mouth dropping into a small _o_. Then she has the audacity to _smile_ and motion Jungeun over with a flick of her fingers, and what is Jungeun supposed to do? Say no?

She drains the rest of her cup for liquid courage, but by the time she makes her way to Haseul’s side (which feels like ages later) her throat is dry again, tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She can't remember the last time she'd been literally rendered tongue-tied in front of someone, like speaking to them was like trying to look into the sun. (Actually, she did remember. It was in 6th grade after seeing a senior called Sunmi on the soccer field, and it made Jungeun have a very candid talk with herself about her sexuality afterwards.)

Thankfully, Haseul speaks first. “Shit, you actually came. You look. Different.” Her eyes rove over Jungeun’s outfit, and though she's wearing a skirt and sweater, she feels very exposed all of a sudden. She accepts the beer Haseul hands her gratefully.

“You too,” Jungeun manages to say after a long sip. Her eyes flicker to the girl leaning against the wall beside Haseul, and she's surprised to find that she recognizes her face. “Oh, hey! Hyunjin?”

“Yeah,” Hyunjin says, raising her beer in acknowledgement. “Jungeun, right? I think we have a few classes together.”

“Oh, I think so,” Jungeun says, trying hard to make it sound like she doesn't keep a detailed list of all the top scorers in her classes. Hyunjin may have been a volleyball prodigy, but she wasn’t barely scraping Cs like most of the sports knuckleheads. Her grades are almost as good as Jungeun’s. Almost.

Despite the weird territorial threat she poses, Hyunjin is easy to talk to and Jungeun finds herself falling into casual conversation with her. She's tipsy enough not to notice that while Haseul is nodding and humming at the right points, she's oddly quiet.

In truth, Haseul is still stunned at the sight of Jungeun. Not just the dramatic change of hair, but rather everything about the way she looks. This is her first time seeing Jungeun in anything other than her usual flannel and jeans and she's shocked to see that Jungeun has actual legs. And shoulders, too, peeking out of the sweater which settles low on her collar bones. She throws her head back when Hyunjin makes her laugh, exposing more soft-looking skin as the sweater slips down her arms.

Her brain catches up with the alcohol and she realizes she's been standing there thinking about Jungeun’s _shoulders_ like a depraved 17th century lesbian at boarding school. Okay, so she's belatedly realizing that Jungeun is really attractive. Why is it such a big deal? She’d been with her fair share of pretty girls. This is nothing new.

As if summoned by her thoughts, a familiar honey-blonde head swims into her alcohol-impaired vision. “Haseul!” she says warmly, tugging her in for a hug.

“Rosie,” Haseul says, the nickname unintentionally slipping out as she tries to keep her drink from sloshing out of the cup. Her ex backs up quickly, grinning apologetically.

“Sorry! Clumsy and drunk, not a good mix,” she says airily, and then her sights zero in on Jungeun. “Ooh, who’s this? Not even trying to hide your thing for blondes anymore?”

Haseul forces out a grin. “Chaeyoung, why don’t you go find a new victim and stop harassing my friends,” she says through her teeth. It looks like Chaeyoung is going to argue back for a moment, but she backs  down at the warning on Haseul’s face, throwing Jungeun a questioning look before slipping back into the crowd.

“Who was that?” Jungeun asks, her neutral expression betrayed by the curiosity in her tone. And the fact that she’d barely waited for Chaeyoung to be out of earshot before asking.

“Just an ex,” Haseul says, offhand, and Jungeun visibly relaxes: her shoulders untense (those fucking shoulders _again_ ) and she goes back to her conversation with Hyunjin. She seems … relieved?

Haseul's brain recalls Sooyoung’s words from earlier: _I think your tutor has a little crush!_ Her brow furrows subconsciously as she tries to make sense of everything she's thinking. Although alcohol makes her dumber, it also makes her braver, and she tells herself that’s why she suddenly grabs Jungeun’s wrist, leaning forward to whisper in her ear.

“Wanna get a drink?” she says, and can't help but feel triumphant when Jungeun shivers at the feeling of Haseul’s breath ghosting against her skin. It definitely isn't loud enough to warrant the closeness, but Jungeun doesn't seem to care, just nodding wordlessly and letting Haseul lead her into the kitchen.

It's much quieter there, apart from a few people gathered around the punch bowl. Jungeun sits at the island while Haseul pulls two more beers from the fridge and sits down beside her, neither of them missing the way their knees are brushing against each other.

“So. How’s your night going?” Haseul asks, inwardly wincing as soon as she says it. Honestly, she hasn’t thought this far ahead. She just wanted to be alone with Jungeun, but now that she is, it's kind of hard to be smooth while being the sole focus of Jungeun’s attention.

“Um. I just got here,” Jungeun points out.

“Ah, right.” Haseul presses her lips together, trying to come up with something else, but Jungeun beats her to it, surprisingly.

“Isn’t it a little odd for Sooyoung to invite your ex to her party?” she asks, circling the rim of the can with her finger. “Doesn’t that go against the bro code or something?”

“Our bro code is kind of unique,” Haseul says in amusement. “It’s fine, honestly. Chaeyoung and I really weren’t serious, and the same goes for the rest of my exes. Besides, if Sooyoung banned everyone I've had a thing with from her parties, there'd barely be anyone here.”

“Ah,” Jungeun says eloquently, staring into her beer like it held the secrets of the universe. Haseul, once again, wonders whether her lack of filter is an actual physical impairment. _She probably thinks I’m a two dollar whore_ , she laments internally, _and she wouldn’t be that off-base._ She also realizes that if Jungeun actually did have a crush on her, that would be the last thing she’d want to hear.

“Let’s go find Sooyoung and Jinsol,” Haseul says, rising with such force it almost knocks her chair back. She feels a sudden, deep guilt at the way she’d been completely ready to toy with Jungeun’s feelings for fun. It's a game she's so used to playing that she hadn’t stopped to think about whether it was fair to Jungeun. Which it definitely wasn’t.

Still, Jungeun is resolved to stick to her side as they walk around the house in search of their friends. She's definitely shook up by what Haseul had said, but it isn't jealousy per se. (Although it isn't  _fun_ to look at every girl in the room and wonder if Haseul had hooked up with her.) No, it's a feeling she's much more acquainted with: inadequacy. She had never dated a single person. Haseul would think that was so fucking lame.

What had she even been thinking, coming to this party? She's completely out of her league, and it must be painfully obvious to everybody. She's just about to make some sort of excuse and go home, but Haseul suddenly brightens, having spotted two familiar girls dancing on the living room table.

“Sooyoung, get down, you’re gonna break something,” Haseul scolds, tugging at her pants leg.

Sooyoung just dances out of her reach. “So? Not like you live here!”

“But you do!” Haseul exclaims, but Sooyoung is already hoisting her up onto the table. Jungeun can see the exact moment Haseul decides to stop struggling, instead shrugging and beginning to dance to the music as well. Jungeun probably would have made her escape then, but before she knows it two hands encircle her arms and drag her up as well.

“Jungie!” Jinsol chirps, and Jungeun doesn't need a breathalyzer to tell she's sloshed. “I’m having so much fun!” She leans in close and whispers, “Sooyoung did a shot out of my belly button! I think I’m in love with her.”

“Oh, lord,” Jungeun grumbles, but the corners of her mouth twitch. It's impossible to be around Jinsol and not be infected by her happy energy. Also, even though she isn't a big fan of the bass-heavy house music being blasted, the beat is too catchy not to dance to. Jinsol claps excitedly at the sight of her friend loosening up, joining her in a clumsy, messy dance. Jungeun left her self consciousness behind a couple drinks ago, and she's surprised at how much fun she's having just by jumping around on a table.

As more people join the impromptu dance party, the table gets too crowded and Jungeun and Jinsol get half-pushed off. Jungeun doesn't mind; she’s worked up a thirst with all that dancing anyway. “Let’s go get a drink,” she yells in Jinsol’s ear.

Jinsol’s eyes are darting around. “Where’d Sooyoung go?” she wonders aloud. Then, an afterthought: “oh, Haseul’s gone too.”

“Who cares, I’m thirsty,” Jungeun says, but Jinsol's already began to walk away in search of them. Jungeun sighs, choosing to follow. She isn't uninhibited enough to be _completely_ alone in a room full of strangers.

Jinsol comes to a sudden halt, making Jungeun crash right into her back. She smacks her arm, about to scold her, but then she follows her line of sight and sees what made her stop short.

It's Sooyoung and Haseul. And several other girls, all sitting on an L shaped couch. But Haseul is in Sooyoung’s _lap_ , sprinkling salt onto the side of her neck. One of the girls hands Haseul a shot glass full of amber liquid, and the other stuffs a lime wedge into Sooyoung’s laughing mouth.

Then Haseul leans forward and licks a broad stripe up Sooyoung’s neck, eliciting whoops from the girls surrounding them. Once she’s gathered all the salt, she downs the shot like water, and the cheers increase when she leans forward to pluck the lime wedge from Sooyoung’s teeth, grinning and chewing on it.

Her tongue flicks out again to chase a stray salt crystal on her lip, and Jungeun feels lightheaded when she sees something gleaming in the light. Fuck, that’s right, Haseul has a tongue stud. She imagined what it would feel like, cold metal along with her hot tongue, and she's so jealous of Sooyoung she thinks she might punch her.

Before she can do anything drastic, Sooyoung spots Jinsol and smiles. She pushes Haseul from her lap unceremoniously and approaches them, grabbing the bottle of tequila on her way over but leaving the glass. “Your turn,” she says, slipping her hand into Jinsol’s and leading her away. Jinsol almost trips over her feet in her haste to follow, and once again Jungeun is standing alone.

Haseul makes eye contact with her and raises her eyebrows. Jungeun rolles her eyes in response, making Haseul smile. She stands and motions with her head for Jungeun to follow her out onto the balcony, and Jungeun complies, maybe kind of sympathizing with Jinsol’s haste.

Once they were out into the quiet air, Haseul pulls a stick from her pack of cigarettes. “You mind?” she asks.

“Not at all,” Jungeun says, watching how Haseul’s lips wrap around the filter as she lights it and pulls in. Jungeun wrinkles her nose at the smell of the smoke, quickly realizing that it isn't a cigarette. It isn't that the smell was awful, but rather that she associates it with the aggressively straight jocks at school who always hotbox the locker room.

“You want some?” Haseul asks, extending the joint. Then, with a little head shake, she pulls it back. “Sorry, I’m used to smoking with other smokers,” she said.

Jungeun can't be offended at Haseul’s assumption that she's a square (which she is), but this whole night is about proving her wrong, so she squares her shoulders and says, “actually, I was gonna say yes.”

Haseul’s eyebrows shoot up her forehead, but she hands Jungeun the joint wordlessly. Jungeun accepts it, trying to look like she knows what she's doing, and takes a tiny inhale. She feels the urge to cough instantly, but she forces it back, letting the little bit of smoke rest in her lungs before blowing it out. It leaves a weird taste, but it's tolerable. She does it again, a longer, braver inhale this time, and then passes it back. She's proud that she only lets out a little cough afterwards.

“You’re a natural,” Haseul says, surprise tinging her tone. “You even got the puff-puff-pass down. Some people smoke a half ounce a week and still don’t know their etiquette.”

“Yeah,” Jungeun says eloquently. Already she can understand why people called it being buzzed. It feels like her skin was tingling, almost, and her tongue is heavy in her mouth. It's overall a pleasant feeling, she decides, and doesn'r turn the joint down when Haseul passes it once more.

They sit and smoke in easy silence until the joint burns out. Haseul crushes the filter against the railing and turns her head to look at Jungeun.

“You know, you’re not at all what I expected,” she says, but Jungeun doesn't think she means it in a bad way.

“You too,” she says, truthfully. At this point, she can't deny that she has at least the beginnings of a crush on Haseul. Now, especially, because Jungeun is kind of really high and Haseul looks exactly like a marble sculpture in the dim moonlight. Beautiful. Untouchable.

Her phone buzzes in her pocket, making her jump slightly. She squints at the screen, reading the message from Jinsol: _stzyung wiyh sooyoung tpjmght dontvwait fpr mre_

She frowns. “I think … weed actually deteriorates your brain, cause I can’t read this.”

Haseul peers at the screen. “Don’t worry, this is barely decipherable ... I think it says she’s staying with Sooyoung tonight and not to wait up for her. It looks like she was typing with one hand. Hate to think about what the other was doing.”

Jungeun shudders. “No thanks for that image.”

Haseul laughs. “Let’s go inside, get another drink, yeah?”

Jungeun’s teeth worry at her lip. “I might go home. I’m really tired.” It was true: although the weed is nice, combined with the alcohol it's making her unbearably sleepy. She feels like she's going to pass out on the nearest flat surface if she stays any longer, and although she wanted to have a wild night she _refuses_ to go to bed without washing her face.

Haseul checks her watch. “Oh, yeah, it’s pretty late,” she comments, and Jungeun is grateful to her for saying that even though it really isn't. “I’m gonna stay, but let me walk you to the front door.”

When Haseul says goodbye to her, she pulls her into a hug, as casually as if it's something they’d done hundreds of times. It's barely five seconds of contact, of Haseul pressing her tiny frame to Jungeun’s, but it makes Jungeun feel like she's on fire everywhere they’d touched.

She's  thinking about it so hard that she's already on the bus by the time she realizes that Jinsol hadn’t given her the keys. For once, she's thankful that Jinsol never listens to her scolding about keeping the windows locked, and she just tears a hole in the screen and clambers into Jinsol’s bedroom.

The steady rhythm of the bus had pretty much lulled her to sleep, but she still has the presence of mind to wash her makeup off and change into her pyjamas. She falls asleep seconds after her head hit the pillow, and in those seconds she half-dreams of grinning silver and how it would feel to tug on short, inky hair.

 


	4. watercolor envy

Jungeun doesn’t even get to sleep through the night. When she’s violently shaken awake, a glance at Jinsol’s glowing blue alarm clock tells her that it’s 4 am. It’s a number she’s only seen during her all-night study sessions, and she definitely doesn’t want to be awake at this time for any reason other than a test the next day.

“What?” she mumbles, still half asleep. In response, her pillow is yanked out from underneath her, and her head hits the mattress with enough force to jolt her awake.

“Are you asleep, Jungie?” Jinsol whispers, patting her face insistently.

“Not anymore,” Jungeun grits out, rolling onto her back. “Wait, did you just now get home?”

“Yup!” Jinsol whispers conspiratorially. “Sooyoung asked me to stay over but Mom would absolutely murder me. Speaking of which! Jungeun, guess what happened!”

“You and Sooyoung slept together,” Jungeun grumbles. “Oh my god, even the word _sleep_ hurts right now.”

Jinsol looks a little deflated, and Jungeun almost feels bad. “How’d you guess?”

“You both practically wrote it on your foreheads all night,” Jungeun deadpans, but softens at Jinsol’s pout. “Okay, fine. How was it?”

“Amazing!” Jinsol wriggles on the bed like a worm. “She’s obviously really good at everything but she didn’t make fun of me for being a virgin at all. Well. I didn’t tell her but she probably guessed, like, there was this moment where —”

“I really don’t need to hear the details!” Jungeun yelps, pulling the pillow back over her head. Jinsol tugs it right back off and continues, “okay, sorry! Anyway, it was great and she’s great, Jungeun, she’s _so_ great.”

“I couldn’t be happier for you, Jinsol. Can I please have my pillow back now?”

Jinsol hands it to her and asks, “so how was your night?”

“Well, I smoked with Haseul and came back here and went to sleep. Which I was really enjoying, by the way,” she says pointedly.

“Ugh, fine!” Jinsol says dramatically. “We’ll continue this tomorrow morning. Night, Jungie.”

“Night, Sol.”

Blissful silence. And then:

“I had sex, and you smoked weed? … Yerim is going to have a cow.”

* * *

Haseul wakes up the next morning disoriented and dry-mouthed on Sooyoung’s couch. She untangles herself from the others sleeping there, wincing when she sits right in something sticky, and pads up to Sooyoung’s room. Somehow Sooyoung has never had a hangover in all the time Haseul’s known her, and this time is no different. She’s sitting at her laptop with a coffee mug, and by the looks of it she’s already showered. Fucking bitch.

“Not cool letting me crash downstairs,” she grumbles, throwing herself onto Sooyoung’s bed. “I slept in a puddle of wine. Or at least what I hope to god was wine.”

“Good morning!” Sooyoung all but sings. “I’m sorry, I thought you’d gone home already. I couldn’t have brought you up here anyway, cause Jinsol was here. All night.” She waggled her eyebrows. 

“Wait, really?” Haseul sits up. “I mean, I know that’s what your thirsty ass was going for but I didn’t think she’d actually do it.”

“Really, dude. She’s kind of a freak, too.” Sooyoung nods animatedly. “She, like, slapped me when I went down on her and I think it was just out of shock but I was super into it.”

Haseul rubs her temples. “I literally did not ask. For any of that.”

Sooyoung just shrugs. “You’re my best friend, who else am I supposed to tell my sex stories to?”

“After what I just heard, ideally a therapist.”

Sooyoung kicks her and the rest of the overnight crashers out soon after. Haseul is definitely hungover, and the sunlight makes her brain feel like it’s trying to throb out of her skull. To make matters worse, Yeojin is on her as soon as she gets home.

“Where have you been?” Yeojin demands, sounding far too old for her age. “You didn’t send me an ‘I’m not coming home’ text!”

“I’m sorry, my phone died,” she says, but Yeojin continues angrily.

“Haseul, I know I always tell you I’m old enough to stay alone at home by myself — and I am! — but it would be really nice if you could at least let me know you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere, you know?”

“Yeojin, I said I’m sorry, drop it,” Haseul says tiredly. She moves to go into her room, but Yeojin grabs her arm.

“Hey, I’m not done yet! I was up all night worrying my ass off—”

“Stop lecturing me like you’re my fucking mom, because if anything it’s the other way round!” Haseul snaps, wrenching her arm out of Yeojin’s grip. She turns away, fast, but not fast enough to miss the way Yeojin’s face drops, hurt painting her features.

Haseul slams the door to her room, and even though her headache is pounding even harder now, she still puts on her angry heavy rock playlist. It’s mostly to mask the sounds of her crying; she feels bad for crossing the line, and she knew she would, but it’s just one of those days where everything she was bottling up needed to explode a little.

She loves her sister more than anything, and would gladly give her life for her. It’s just that … she wasn’t given the choice. Growing up with a drunk for a mom and a dad who was gone before Yeojin was in preschool, she had never known anything other than the role of a protector and second mother to her sister. When their actual mother finally took off, she made sure that she could provide a life for herself and Yeojin, even if it wasn’t a lavish one. 

She didn’t regret that choice, of course, but still. She can’t help but wonder sometimes what it felt like to be a normal high school girl — to have your biggest worry be your upcoming finals or whether your crush liked you back, not how you were going to come up with enough money for the landlord not to cut the hot water again. She wonders what it was like to be able to grow up and become your own person before having to hold another, smaller life in your own hands.

She and Yeojin avoid each other all weekend, creeping around the apartment like trespassers in their own home, before they finally have a big, tearful talk on Sunday night. Haseul’s emotions have been through the wringer by the time she goes back to school on Monday, and it’s probably the reason why she kind of loses it in biology class.

Mr. Lee has them all gathered around the busted plastic skeleton in the classroom as he explains the anatomy of it. It’s mind-numbingly boring, and Haseul almost sighs out loud with relief when he stops explaining and starts asking the class questions. One more minute and she definitely would have fallen asleep standing up.

As usual, Jungeun’s hand shoots up first every single time. Mr. Lee doesn’t always pick her, trying instead to give others a chance to answer, but it’s obvious that nobody really wants to.

“Nerd,” Haseul hears a voice cough from the back of the crowd, and her head snaps around. A trio of jocks are standing and snickering, and although Haseul can’t tell which one had spoke first, she hears the next one, the tallest and ugliest of the group. 

“Aren’t blondes supposed to have more fun?” he says, voice low. “She could suck the life out of anything. Except dick, probably.” They all dissolve into cruel laughter again, and Haseul sees red.

She raises her own hand. “Mr. Lee, what’s the strongest bone in the body?” she asks, not waiting for him to call on her.

Mr. Lee stops mid-sentence. “Um … the femur? But why—” 

Haseul turns and grabs the jock by the shoulders, relishing the way his stupid smile falls off his face, and brings her thigh up between his legs with as much force as he can. The scream he lets out is too high for human hearing ranges, and he crumples to the floor like a paper doll.

Poor Mr. Lee just gapes. “Haseul…”

“Yeah, principal’s office, I’m going,” she sighs, exiting the classroom. She could probably just walk right out of the school and go home, but she knows Mr. Lee is going to follow up with Jeong and if he hears she ditched she’ll be in even bigger trouble. She’s still tired, physically and emotionally, and decides it’s easier to just go face whatever punishment he has for her.

Haseul has been in Principal Jeong’s office so many times she could probably draw it from memory with her eyes closed. More times than Sooyoung had, even. Still, while Sooyoung always complains about how vicious and mean Jeong is, he’s always been strangely nice to Haseul. It only makes her hate him more, though, the way he treats her like she’s a troubled youth for him to rehabilitate. 

This time goes no different. After he makes her explain why she’s there, he laces his fingers together and looks at her knowingly. “You don’t have many friends, do you, Haseul?”

Haseul frowns. That wasn’t what she was expecting. “What?”

“I think you have issues dealing with other people, and Ha Sooyoung — the only person I see you talk to — is definitely not a good influence.”

“Fuck you,” Haseul says, feeling defensiveness flare hard. She wasn’t fucking _lonely_ , just selective. Nobody in this piece of shit school deserved her time except Sooyoung. (And, as of recent discovery, Jungeun.)

He ignores her and continues. “Here’s your punishment: an exchange student joined us at the start of this semester, and she’s been having trouble adjusting. I want you to be her friend and help her feel welcome here.”

“Be her friend?” Haseul repeats derisively.

“Yes,” Jeong says. “Spend your lunches and free periods together, walk her to and from class, help her with her Korean, be nice to her. Things like that. I think it’ll help you both a great deal. And before you try to argue with me, your other option is a week-long suspension.”

Haseul shuts her eyes. Her grades have been getting better, but she’s not confident that if she loses a whole week of classes she’ll be able to catch up. “Fine. Who is she?”

The girl is named Viian Wong, but she introduces herself (very slowly) as Vivi. She has huge eyes and pink hair which is in an apple-stem hairdo. It’s kind of ridiculous, but she pulls it off well. As much as Haseul resents Jeong for making her do this, she can’t bring herself to be mean to Vivi, so she invites her to lunch with herself and Sooyoung.

Haseul tries to be friendly, she really does, but it’s hard. Whenever Vivi doesn’t understand something (which is nine times out of ten) she just smiles politely and nods, which makes it a little difficult to carry a conversation. They soon figure that she can understand better if they speak slowly and enunciate clearly, but still, she’s not very fluent.

“How long did he say you have to do this for again?” Sooyoung asks through a bite of sandwich. 

Vivi doesn’t look offended, so Haseul assumes she didn’t catch that. “He didn't,” Haseul sighs. “I kinda feel bad for her, though. Ditching her would be like abandoning a lost puppy.”

Sooyoung shrugs. “It’s fine, honestly. It’s not like she’s annoying or anything. It’s just like having a weird robot friend who’s trying to understand human life.”

Haseul snorts. “Sure, I guess. Hey, you wanna go smoke?”

Vivi brightens suddenly. “Smoke?” she asks with the most excitement Haseul’s heard from her yet, and brings her pinched thumb and index finger to her mouth to imitate hitting a joint.

Haseul and Sooyoung both exchange a glance, eyebrows raised, and Sooyoung slings an arm around Vivi’s shoulder. “Vivi, was it? I think we’re going to be great friends.”

* * *

Now that they have something to bond over, Haseul actually finds herself becoming fast friends with Vivi. Despite her childlike appearance and difficulty communicating, she’s actually quite smart and wickedly funny. She adapts into their little group with ease, and Jeong is over the moon about it, which is even better.

“You know, you’ve really surprised me.” Jeong leans back into his chair, looking far too pleased with himself. “With both the tutoring and Ms. Wong, you’ve done far better than I expected.”

“Gee, thanks,” Haseul mutters.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that, Haseul. The change in your grades are almost unbelievable. I’d almost think you were cheating if I didn’t know from Ms. Kim that you’re working very hard at your sessions together.”

Despite herself, the scowl on her face subsides slightly. It makes her heart a little warm to know that Jungeun's been reporting back good things about her, even though she certainly didn’t make it for her at the beginning. Also, it's nice of her to say that even though it's undeniable that things had become a little awkward between them as of late.

Haseul automatically blames it on herself because she knows she’s definitely been thinking about Jungeun differently since the party. She can’t stop thinking (obsessing, really) about whether Jungeun actually has a crush on her or not. Although she’s beginning to think not — if anything, Jungeun has been oddly distant since then. What’s more worrying is how the thought makes Haseul feel: soft, warm inside, then instantly panicked. She didn’t have feelings for Jungeun. She _couldn’t_. They were polar opposites, and it would never work.

“In fact,” Jeong continues, pulling her out of her thoughts, “I’ve heard that from your music teacher, too. She happens to think you have a real talent.”

“Mrs. Kwon?!” Haseul flushes, partly from embarrassment and partly from pride. Although she's of the opinion that all teachers are joyless creatures who hate children, Mrs. Kwon is the only exception. Music is the only class she doesn’t hate, too. She loves singing and knows she’s good at it, and Mrs. Kwon thinks so as well. She’s always asking Haseul to play the lead in the school musical, but Haseul thinks she’d rather eat dirt. She’ll stick to belting along to Girls’ Generation in her room with Yeojin, thanks.

“Yes, Mrs. Kwon. In fact, she asked me to give you this.” He gives her a stapled stack of paper, which she takes suspiciously like it’s a bomb. But it’s something that shocks her even more: a scholarship form for a music school. An extremely prestigious one which Haseul knows everything about because she’s wistfully researched it many times before seeing the tuition fee and instantly exiting the website. 

Jeong smiled at her stunned silence. “Flip to the last page.” He does, and there in neat handwriting is a letter of recommendation from Mrs. Kwon.

“I … I don’t know what to say.” To her horror, she’s choked up, the words struggling to come out. She really doesn’t know what to say — she’s scared to say anything at all, worrying she’ll wake up at any second and find that this is a dream.

Jeong waves a hand. “It’s Mrs. Kwon you should thank, not me. You can go now, I know you have a study session, but I really think you should submit that form. With the way your grades are improving, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble meeting the minimum GPA.”

Haseul nods jerkily and leaves as soon as he’s done talking. She knows it seems rude, but tears are really threatening now and she’d rather die than anyone see her cry, especially not Jeong. Just her luck that when she gets to the parking lot, Vivi is standing by her motorcycle.

Haseul wipes roughly at her eyes. “Vivi, what are you doing here?”

“Waiting,” Vivi says. Her face softens and she gestures at her cheeks. “You’re sad?”

“No, not at all. It’s good news … I might be able to get a scholarship to this school I really wanna go to,” Haseul says, and now that she’s actually saying it out loud she can feel the shock quickly turn into joy. She hasn’t felt happiness like this in a long time, the type that bubbles inside you and feels like it might spill over.

She can tell Vivi doesn’t really understand what she’s saying, but Haseul’s smile is impossible to misinterpret. “Great! Really great,” she says warmly, patting Haseul’s shoulder. Haseul feels a surge of affection for the girl and pulls her into a tight hug. 

When she steps back, Jungeun is walking towards them with her books in hand, eyes darting back and forth between them with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Oh, Jungeun, hey,” Haseul says, quickly straightening. “What’s up?”

“We have a study session now,” Jungeun says, but she sounds unsure, still eyeing Vivi. 

“No, yeah, we do. Vivi, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” Haseul asks, kicking down the stand of her bike.

“Can I come?” Vivi asks. “I’m bored.”

“Yeah, of course.” Haseul notices Jungeun’s features morph to irritation, and adds, “if that’s okay, Jungeun? Vivi, you have to promise not to distract me from studying.”

“Promise,” Vivi says unconvincingly. 

“It’s fine,” Jungeun says, tightening her grip on her books. “Should we go to the library?”

“Sure,” Haseul says. “Oh, um, I didn’t bring my extra seat today, though …”

“I’ll take the bus,” Jungeun says abruptly. “See you there.” Before Haseul can insist she stay, she turns on her heel and starts walking away in the direction she came from.

Haseul stares after her in bewilderment. “The fuck is her problem?” 

Vivi shrugs, “Rock-paper-scissors for the helmet?” she asks, and Haseul tries not to laugh at how much Sooyoung is rubbing off on her.

Jungeun’s problem, of course, is her not-so-little crush on Haseul which definitely hasn’t gone away. If anything, it’s only been growing since the party; she doesn’t know if it’s Haseul’s new hair or the way Haseul had smiled at her that night, but she’s been totally doomed since then. She’s tried distancing herself from the girl, keeping their study sessions strictly about studying, but there’s no use. Haseul’s even more breathtaking when she’s concentrating hard on something, a little furrow appearing between her brows that Jungeun wants to kiss away.

And then there’s the matter of Vivi, who’s appeared into Haseul’s life out of nowhere and seems to be there to stay. Jungeun tries not to let her stupid feelings get in the way of her perception, but even with her crush put aside, it’s impossible not to be jealous. Not only is she ethereally pretty, she’s effortlessly cool, and when Jungeun sees her eating lunch or smoking with Haseul and Sooyoung she fits in so well it’s like she’s always been there.

 _Exactly the opposite of me_ , she thinks bitterly, her expression so stormy that all the other bus-riders avoid sitting beside her. _Haseul and I couldn’t be more different._

The studying itself goes fairly well, all things considered. Of course Vivi tries to talk with Haseul at first, but the librarian does Jungeun’s job for her, threatening to kick her out if she keeps talking. Vivi looks like she’s two minutes from cussing the woman out, but she keeps her mouth shut and picks out a book to read instead. It’s a children’s book, and Jungeun notices the way Vivi mouths the words silently to herself, brows knitting together when she comes across a difficult one. 

Vivi’s probably an international student, she realizes. It makes sense, as she’s never seen her around school before this semester, and while Jungeun had thought she had a particularly blunt way of speaking, it’s likely the girl just doesn’t know much Korean. It makes her feel a little guilty about assuming that she was just rude. She really hates how having feelings messes with your rationality like that, turning you into a green-eyed monster, and thinking about it just puts her back in a sour mood.

When they’re done and packing their books away, Vivi looks extremely relieved. “Want dinner?” she says to Haseul in an exaggerated whisper.

Haseul nods, and turns to Jungeun, about to invite the girl, but she’s already pushing her chair back from the table. “I better get home. Bye, Haseul, Vivi.”

Haseul stares. “It’s not just me, right? She’s being weird,” then when the librarian gives her a dirty look, “we’re going, Jesus!”

Once they’re outside, Vivi offers Haseul a smoke before they go. She takes it and inhales deep, leaning against the leather seat of her bike. “I feel like she’s mad,” she says, folding her arms. “Did she seem mad?”

Vivi looks slightly amused. “Not mad. She…” she pauses, pursing her lips as she tries to find the right word, then gives up. “She likes you. She doesn’t like me.”

“Why wouldn’t she like you?” Haseul asks slowly, thinking it must be a language miscommunication. 

“Because she _likes_ you,” Vivi emphasizes, and oh. She might be saying what Haseul thinks she’s saying.

“You think she’s jealous?” she asks, and Vivi nods enthusiastically.

“Yes, yes!” she says, gesturing wildly with her cigarette. “Jealous because we’re close.”

Haseul bites her lip. It’s too good to be true, but she has to be real, Vivi is the second person to tell her she thinks Jungeun has feelings for her. She tries to tamp down how she feels about that, but then realizes that sometimes it’s alright to get your hopes up.

“Wanna know a secret? I think I like her too,” Haseul says, feeling slightly giddy.

Vivi whistles. “Really? Shit. Next time I’ll leave you alone.”

“Wait, that’s right — why did you come along if you knew she was jealous?!”

“I really was bored,” Vivi says, and Haseul has to laugh.

* * *

 **whited0ve:** wyd after school today?

 **kjungeuns:** nothing

 **whited0ve:** wanna come over?

 **kjungeuns:** if u stop txting in class!

 **whited0ve:** :)

Haseul feels more nervous than she should be as she lets Jungeun into her house. It’s not the first time she’s been there, so it’s not that — it’s more just Jungeun herself. Haseul had sent that text yesterday in a sudden fit of boldness, telling herself she’d stop being silly and ask Jungeun out already, but now that they’re sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, Haseul can’t find the words.

“So … what’s up?” Jungeun asks, finger circling the rim of her glass of water. Haseul’s eyes follow the motion.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” she said, suddenly feeling her throat become dry. She makes a grab for Jungeun’s glass, taking a sip to stall for time. Her fingers brush against Jungeun’s when she does so, and the little zap of electricity makes her jump in her seat.

Jungeun frowns. “Why are you acting so weird? Did you fail a test or something?”

“No!” Haseul says in annoyance, but the mention of school gives her an idea. Her eyes zero in over Jungeun’s shoulders onto her scholarship form, hanging on the fridge where Yeojin had proudly stuck it with a magnet.

“I’m applying for a scholarship,” she says, nodding her head towards the fridge. Jungeun’s eyes widen and she leans back to grab it, eyes roving over it quickly.

“Shit, Haseul, this is no joke.” She flips through the pages, looking impressed. “How did you bag this?”

Haseul bristles at the surprised tone, but makes herself relax. “Mrs. Kwon,” she explains. “I mean, it’s not a sure thing or anything…”

“No, it’s awesome,” Jungeun says instantly, and it’s silly but Haseul flushes at the praise. “What about if you don’t get it, though? Are you still thinking of going?”

Haseul snorts. “Are you kidding me? That place costs an arm and a leg.”

“Ah.” Jungeun looks uncomfortable, probably never having had to consider tuition fees. “So what are you gonna do? If this doesn’t work out, I mean. Do you have a backup plan?”

Haseul can feel her earlier irritation coming back. “Work, because not all of us can drop 20k a year on college fees,” she says, trying and failing to keep the bitterness from her voice. 

Jungeun frowns. “Haseul, that’s not what I meant. I have no idea where I’m going either.”

“Must be nice knowing you have all the options you can hope for,” Haseul asks, snatching the form away from Jungeun. "Way to rain on my parade."

“Haseul, stop! I’m not attacking you,” Jungeun says, sounding distressed. “I mean, I don’t know where I’m going because I don’t know what the hell I want to do. My parents think I’m going to be a doctor like them, but I don’t want that. I don’t want anything. At least you know music is your passion—I don’t even have one, for fuck’s sake.”

Jungeun looks slightly shocked at her outburst, but stands her ground, defiant despite her wobbling lip. Haseul knows, rationally, that Jungeun is being vulnerable with her and she should be a good friend and comfort her. Unfortunately, logic rarely wins over emotion, and she feels both insecure about herself and angry at Jungeun for not even recognizing her own privilege. Before she can help herself, cruelty takes a hold of her tongue. 

“So that’s what this is about?” she sneers. “You don’t know what you want to do with your life so you try and belittle me for having _maybe_ one shot at what I want?"

“That’s not it,” Jungeun tries, but Haseul can’t stop her angry tone from rising.

“I can’t believe I asked you over here to share the good news, as my _friend_ , and you turn it into a fucking pity party for yourself.” What she really wants to say is, _I can’t believe I asked you over here to tell you I like you and you just reminded me of all the reasons why I shouldn't._

Jungeun’s nostrils flare and then she stands suddenly, knocking her chair back onto the floor. “Fuck you, Haseul,” she bites out. “You act like you know everything about me, but you don’t. You don’t have the slightest fucking clue.”

With that she grabs her bag and storms out of the kitchen. Haseul rises, unsure whether it’s to stop her or keep arguing, but by the time she gets into the living room the door is already slamming shut behind Jungeun.

As Haseul stands there, trying to figure out what to do with all this pent-up anger, Yeojin comes out of her room, looking confused. “What was that all about?"

Haseul sighs. “I don’t know, Yeojin. I really don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :0 one chapter left yall!
> 
> [twt](http://twitter.com/bluejinsol) / [cc](http://curiouscat.me/oddeyejinsol)


	5. good riddance (time of your life)

Haseul chews her cereal, looking sourly at the scholarship form hanging from the fridge. Yeojin had quietly put it back up there after Haseul’s fight with Jungeun, but now instead of a proud achievement it feels like a looming reminder of how she and Jungeun haven’t spoken since then. She  _ wants  _ to, of course, wants nothing more, but her stupid pride stands firmly in the way.

“Morning, sis,” Yeojin yawns, entering the kitchen and going straight for the orange juice. She notices how Haseul’s eyes follow the fridge door as she opens it, and with a pained sigh she grabs the form off of the fridge when she shuts it.

“You need to have this filled out and sent in by tomorrow,” Yeojin says, tossing the paper down in front of Haseul as she sits across from her.

“No, I don’t. The deadline is nowhere near now,” Haseul points out.

“Yeah, but you keep staring at it so hard I’m worried the fridge is gonna explode.” Yeojin slurps her juice loudly. “I mean it, Haseul. Or else it might just be on the table next time I spill the pasta sauce everywhere.

Haseul gapes. “You wouldn’t!”

“I can’t help that I’m clumsy,” Yeojin says, batting her eyelashes innocently. “Seriously, though, the sooner you send it off the sooner you can forget about it.”

Haseul can’t really argue with that logic, and if she’s being honest, she doesn’t particularly want to procrastinate this till the last moment as always. She isn’t able to send it in as fast as the next day, since she wants to actually put effort into her personal statement, she’s dropping it into Jeong’s desk by the end of the week.

He looks pleased as he skims over it. “Thank you, Haseul, and good luck with your finals. Although hopefully you won’t need it, since Ms. Kim has told me she thinks she’s done the most she can with your tutoring.”

“Ah, yeah,” Haseul says, trying to seem like she already knows about that. It feels a bit like a punch to the gut, but she can’t say it’s unexpected. Jungeun still hasn’t said a word to her, and she can’t really blame her. After Jungeun left, Haseul felt like shit like she always does when she lets her temper gets the better of her. She hates how cruel she can be, but on some level she understands why; she’s afraid everyone will eventually leave her, so she pushes them away before they can. 

Thankfully, Sooyoung — the one person she’s never been able to scare off — loves her enough to be honest with her. “Yeah, you fucked up,” she says matter-of-factly over lunch. “Honestly, you need to quit with the self-sabotage, Seulie. It’s obvious she likes you and cares about you.”

“You’re stupid,” Vivi says plainly, and Sooyoung chokes with laughter on her water. Haseul sighs, pats her on the back, and says, “I guess I deserve that.”

It’s gotten cold enough to drive them in from their usual lunch spot outside, so they’re sitting with the rest of the students in the cafeteria now. Jungeun thinks this is really unfair. It’s bad enough she has to see Haseul in several of her classes and around the hallways, but now she can’t even enjoy her lunch break free of Haseul invading her thoughts.

“Earth to Jungeun!” Jinsol snaps her fingers an inch away from Jungeun’s nose. “Seriously, switch seats with Yerim if you can’t stop looking at her long enough to listen to me.”

Jungeun flicks ketchup at her. “I’m not looking at her! Besides, I don’t have to be listening to know you’re talking about Sooyoung. Again.”

Jinsol actually looks a little guilty at that. “Okay, maybe that is a little insensitive of me. Sorry, Jungie.”

Jungeun shakes her head and tries to ignore Yerim’s pitying look. She definitely regrets telling her friends how her fat crush on Haseul had gone down the drain. “Don’t be sorry. It’s my fault for not listening to you in the first place. For thinking she’d be different. Anyway. Can we talk about something else?”

Yerim helpfully jumps in with something about her science fair project, and as Jungeun relaxes back in her seat, her eyes automatically flicker back to Haseul. She’s looking away still, so maybe it’s wishful thinking, but Jungeun swears she could feel Haseul’s gaze on her when she wasn’t looking.

 

* * *

If one good thing comes out of her fight with Haseul, it’s that it gives Jungeun the guts to talk to her parents about her future, or seeming lack thereof. It’s a struggle to catch them at the same time, but by some miracle she comes home from school one day to find them both at the table and she knows she has to take her chance.

“Mom, Dad.” She sinks into a seat on the other side of the table, bracing herself. “Can I talk to you guys about something?”

They both share a confused glance, and she knows it’s probably because they all barely exchange ten words to each other everyday, so this is somewhat of an odd request. “Go ahead,” her mother says, sipping at her glass of wine.

“Well, I know the time for university applications is coming up, but to be honest, I don’t really know what I want to do. I know you both want me to be a doctor like you, but that’s not where my heart is at.”

“Your heart?” her mother snorts. “Do you think we do our jobs because we  _ like _ them, Jungeun?”

“Maybe you don’t, but I want to,” Jungeun says, refusing to let her resolve waver. “I was thinking … I could take a gap year, maybe do some work or internships, and hopefully that’ll help me figure out what I want to do …”

“Jungeun, stop with this ridiculousness,” her father scoffs. “I expect you’ll want us to still be living off of us in the meantime? Do you think we’re made of money?”

“Well, I know you both just booked a trip to the Maldives, so I’d say you’re not struggling,” Jungeun says, her temper beginning to rise. Of course, she should have known that her parents would care more about the money than their daughter’s happiness. “But if you really insist, I’ll move out, find a job, whatever, but I’m not going to university for something I don’t want to do and that’s final.” She’s surprised at the finality of her own words, and wonders for a moment if she had gone too far, but her mother just raises her eyebrows and drains her glass.

“All right,” she says, clearly not bothered to fight Jungeun. “I suppose that would be a waste of our money anyway, sending you to university when clearly all you want to do is slack off.”

Her father checks his watch. “Enough of this nonsense, I have a surgery in an hour.” He gets up from the table, but turns before he leaves through the door. “You know, Jungeun, this is extremely disappointing of you.” 

He leaves without a further word, and her mother sniffs. “For once, your father and I agree on something.” She grabs the rest of the bottle and heads upstairs to her room, leaving Jungeun alone as usual at the table. She feels weird, not knowing whether to be happy that she got her way, or upset that her parents have once again managed to make her feel like utter shit in less than five minutes.

For a split second she wants to talk to Haseul, wants the girl to say mean things about her mother and make her laugh along, but she knows she can’t, so she calls Jinsol. Her best friend is sympathetic, having been on the listening end of many of Jungeun’s rant about her parents, and by the time Jungeun hangs up she feels better for having let it all out.

Jinsol ends the call and presses a kiss to Sooyoung’s forehead. “Sorry about that,” she apologizes, unpausing the movie they’re watching on Sooyoung’s couch. “Just parent bullshit with Jungeun.”

Sooyoung makes a non-committal noise. “Is she okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Jinsol says. “Although this fight with Haseul is making her even crankier than usual, which I didn’t think was possible.

“Tell me about it,” Sooyoung groaned. “Haseul constantly looks like a kicked puppy, it’s driving me crazy. It’s like I can literally see a rain cloud following her around all the time. Of course, she’s way too proud to apologize, or even talk to her for god’s sake.”

Jinsol rolls her eyes. “They’re both such idiots.”

“Not everyone can be as communicative as us,” Sooyoung teases, intertwining their fingers together, and Jinsol can’t help but blush, feeling a wave of affection for her girlfriend. She had been worried at first that Sooyoung was just trying to hit it and quit it, but they’ve been going steady since the party and she can’t deny that she’s falling head over heels.

“I feel bad, being all happy with you while Jungie is so miserable,” Jinsol whines.

“So let’s help them out,” Sooyoung suggests, already getting a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Uh oh. What do you mean by that?” Jinsol asks, cautious, but Sooyoung just grins and gives her a peck.

“Nothing, baby. Look, now, we’re gonna miss half the movie.”

Jinsol doesn’t have to wait very long for Sooyoung to reveal her plan. It’s less insidious than Jinsol expects, and it involves Jinsol’s access to one of the school’s study rooms, air conditioning, and a couple of well-timed texts.

 

**jjsoul:** hey wanna cram 2gether in study room 3??

**kjungeun:** still can’t believe jeong let u have the key

**kjungeun:** but sure

**jjsoul:** well it’s more like he lent it 2 me and forgot 2 take it back

**jjsoul:** but that’s besides the point

 

**soo_young:** stole the key to study room 3 from the janitor

**soo_young:** wanna hotbox it 

**whited0ve:** lmao what is wrong with you

**soo_young:** so is that a yes

**whited0ve:** of course it’s a yes 

 

Haseul shakes her head fondly at her phone as she pushes open the door to the study room. It’s a bit brave of Sooyoung to suggest smoking in such an obvious indoor location, but with only a few months left till graduation and her university application already sent in, she can’t really bring herself to care.

“I hope you brought a joint, cause I don’t—” Haseul stops short in her tracks in the doorway. The room is empty save for a large table in the middle with several chairs scattered around it, but sitting there isn’t the black-haired girl in the leather jacket that Haseul’s expecting. It’s the face she’s been simultaneously dreaming of and avoiding for the past few weeks; Jungeun, with her hair tied back neatly and her tie straight as always.

Confusion washes over both their faces at the same time, and Haseul hears the ominous sound of the door closing behind her. She whirls around only to see Sooyoung grinning through the little window in the door and Jinsol peeking in beside her. She holds up a remote control, presses a button, and the room is flooded with freezing air as the air conditioning kicks on,

“We’re not letting you out till you kiss and make up!” Sooyoung sings, her voice slightly muffled through the door.

“Ha Sooyoung, if you don’t open this door  _ right now _ ,” Haseul threatens, pounding against the glass, but Sooyoung just blows her a kiss and runs off, dragging a giggling Jinsol behind her. Haseul sighs, tugs her jacket closer around herself, and turns to face Jungeun. She’s sitting still, but her arms are tightly folded and her expression is stony now.

“It’s that awful being stuck in here with me, huh?” she asks bitterly, refusing to meet Haseul’s eyes. Haseul’s heart twists painfully, and she knows if she tries hard enough she can kick the door down or even break the glass and get to the handle, but that’s not what she really wants. She’s been hiding from Jungeun, that’s true, but now that they’re face-to-face she knows she needs to take the opportunity to right her wrongs.

“No, it’s more like I didn’t want you to be stuck in here with me,” she says, sliding into the seat behind Jungeun. The blonde looks up, surprised, but quickly looks away when her eyes meet Haseul’s. Haseul pushes on: “I know I was a real jerk to you, so you probably don’t want to see me.”

It’s a while before Jungeun responds, eyeing Haseul warily as she weighs her words. “You were a jerk,” she says plainly. “But I still want to see you. That probably makes me stupid, huh?”

“Probably,” Haseul can’t help but say, and Jungeun meets her eyes this time, both of them breaking into a grin. Haseul physically feels herself lighten, knowing that Jungeun doesn’t hate her beyond forgiveness, and it gives her the courage to continue. 

“Jungeun, I’m really sorry,” she says honestly. “You didn’t deserve for me to snap at you like that, I know you were just trying to help. It’s just … hard for me to let other people in.”

“I can tell,” Jungeun murmurs, but there’s no bite to it. If anything, she sounds sympathetic. Haseul’s the one to avert her eyes now, flushing slightly. She goes on, “anyway, that’s not an excuse, and I know I need to get over my bullshit baggage and not let it affect the people I care about.”

Jungeun’s heart skips. “You care about me?”

“A lot,” Haseul says, and it feels almost too honest. Thankfully, Jungeun just smiles.

“I do too,” she says gently. “I get it, Haseul — why you have walls up. But I want to do whatever it takes to get past them. Because I really want you to let me in.” 

Haseul bites her lip. “God, Jungeun, you’re already in. That’s what scared me so much, I think.” Her voice has quieted almost to a whisper, but there’s no way Jungeun misses the next words she says. “I really like you, Jungeun. That’s … that’s the real reason I invited you over that day. To ask you out.”

Jungeun definitely does not expect that, and her jaw drops practically to the floor, her brain malfunctioning as she tries to process Haseul’s words. Haseul misinterprets her silence and flushes in embarrassment, looking away. “Dumb, right?”

“No!” Jungeun almost yells. “Oh my god, Haseul, no, not at all. I’m just really surprised because I like you too,  _ so  _ much, I just thought there wasn’t a chance in hell — and Vivi?!”

Haseul can’t help but laugh, even though it makes Jungeun scowl. Vivi had been right all along; Jungeun was jealous, and that probably shouldn’t make her heart flutter the way it does. “Vivi’s just a friend,” she clarifies. “She’s not at all my type, trust me.”

“Oh? What’s your type, then?” Jungeun’s expression has gone from shocked to shy again, and she looks so adorable Haseul feels she might burst.

“Well …” Haseul pretends to think. “Usually brunette, although I’m quite partial to blonde now … Taller than me, but short compared to normal people … Kind of dorky …”

“You have a very odd way of flirting, you know,” Jungeun says, but she can’t hide the laugh in her voice and the sparkle in her eyes. “People usually compliment those they’re trying to woo, not borderline insult them."

Haseul grins. “You like it.”

Jungeun’s smile softens. “I do,” she says, quiet, and her gaze flicker from Haseul’s eyes to her lips. Just for a second, but it’s all Haseul needs before she leans over in her seat and kisses Jungeun firmly, cupping her jaw. Jungeun lets out a little muffled squeak, taken by surprise, but it’s only seconds before she melts into the kiss, her hands flying awkwardly around before settling on Haseul’s thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze. It makes Haseul gasp a little, deepening the kiss, and she moves her hand down to trace the line of Jungeun’s neck, her collarbones under the neckline of her shirt —

“Jesus, I wasn’t being literal when I said  _ kiss  _ and make up!”

Sooyoung’s voice, which is the last thing in the world Haseul wants to hear, reluctantly forces them apart. She’s standing in the doorway, wrinkling her nose and twirling the key on her finger. A couple steps behind her is Jinsol, looking like she’s using all of her energy not to jump up and down.

“Sooyoung, fuck off,” Haseul says as nicely as she can manage.

“Hey, if it weren’t for me you’d still be moping in your bedroom alone,” Sooyoung points out, and, well, Haseul can’t argue with that one.

Jungeun rises from her seat, taking Haseul’s hand in her own. “Do you want to go and actually study?” she asks, though the blush isn’t quite gone from her cheeks. “Finals are pretty soon, you know.”

“Of course,” Haseul says enthusiastically. She’s honestly missed their little study sessions, which is surprising even to her. “Room’s all yours,” she says to Sooyoung and Jinsol as they walk past them, and the girlfriends exchange a look that can only mean trouble.

When they’re halfway down the hall, they hear the door shut and the key click. “God, they’re probably defiling that chalkboard right now,” Haseul sighs. Jungeun just squeals and shoves her shoulder, her other hand tightening around Haseul’s own, and all of a sudden Haseul can’t fathom that she was sad twenty minutes ago — that she’s ever been anything but ecstatic, really.

 

* * *

To Jungeun’s surprise, their relationship doesn’t really change from the way it was before. They fall back into each other with surprising ease, like they’d never spent any time apart. Haseul is still the same as always — sarcastic, quick-witted, defiant. The only new thing Jungeun notices is that she doesn’t hasten to look away when Jungeun catches her staring now; instead, she allows herself to gaze at Jungeun with soft, adoring eyes like she’s looking into the sun. 

Oh, and kissing. Lots of kissing, now that their exams are finally done with. Mostly at Haseul’s house, since Jungeun is already on thin ice with her parents and doesn’t think they’ll take her dating a motorcycle-riding leather-wearing girl very well. Kissing is exactly what they’re doing, awkwardly half-sitting on the couch, but it’s perfect even though Jungeun’s back is starting to cramp and she’s definitely overheating in her thick wool sweater. 

Or at least it’s perfect up until Yeojin bursts through the front door and shrieks, her hands flying up to cover her eyes. 

“God, not again!” she cries as the girls quickly right themselves, Haseul tugging her collar up to hide the hickey starting to form there. “Seriously, can you two get a room?”

Haseul glances at Jungeun, hesitant. She’s been surprisingly patient with Jungeun, making it clear that she doesn’t want to rush her into anything she’s not ready for. The thing is, though, Jungeun has been ready for a long time — probably since the night of the party, if she’s being honest. She wants Haseul and she doesn’t know what she’s waiting for, so she grabs her hand and rises from the couch. 

“Okay, we will,” she responds, and Haseul looks at her in a mixture of surprise and hope. 

“Thank God!” Yeojin dramatically flops down onto the couch that they occupied, and Jungeun’s heart flips as they head to the door of Haseul’s room. 

“Oh, hold on! Almost forgot.” They both turn back to see Yeojin ruffling in her bag before producing an envelope and tossing to Haseul. She barely catches it, eager to lead Jungeun into the room and shut the door firmly behind them. 

She almost drops it again when she reads the name of the music academy printed on the front of the envelope. 

“Holy shit!” Her hand flies up to her mouth. “Oh my god, Jungeun, it’s ...” she can't get herself to finish and instead pushes the envelope into Jungeun's hand.

Jungeun’s eyes widen, passing it back like it's a bomb. “Well, what are you waiting for? Open it!”

Haseul’s eyes meet hers, and it hurts Jungeun to see that they’re swimming with doubt. “I’m scared,” she says, her voice almost a whisper. “God, what if it’s bad news? I’ve been trying so hard to get my hopes up but I still feel like I’m gonna die if I don’t get in, fuck ...”

Jungeun stops Haseul mid-rant, cupping her face and looking firmly into her eyes. “Haseul, breathe,” she instructs, and waits till Haseul does so before continuing. “You’re not going to die, no matter what that letter says, because you’re the strongest person I know and you can get through anything. Although if you ask me, they would be complete idiots to say no to you. If that’s a rejection letter I swear I’ll come egg the place with you.”

Haseul gives a little sob-laugh. “I think we’re gonna have to do a little better than egging. Would you help me burn it down?”

“Hopefully we won’t have to,” Jungeun says, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. “Come on now. Do you want me to open it for you?”

Haseul shakes her head, determined. “No. I can do it.”

Even to Jungeun it feels like forever, the way Haseul’s hands tremble as she rips open the sturdy envelope and pulls out the paper underneath. For a terrifying moment Jungeun can’t tell what it says, because Haseul’s face remains impassive while tears spring to her eyes. Then she puts it down to look at Jungeun, and the smile that breaks across her face is impossible to misunderstand. 

“I got in!” she shrieks, letting the paper fly to the floor. “Full fucking ride!”

Relief washes over Jungeun, as well as pure, genuine happiness. Haseul pulls her into a crushing hug and Jungeun holds her as tight as she can, her eyes fluttering shut as she inhales Haseul’s familiar leather and roses scent. Her heart feels full, too full, like it might explode any second, so she pulls back and kisses Haseul hard, letting everything she’s feeling flow into it. 

When they break apart the tears have fallen from Haseul’s eyes, forming twin streams down her face. She looks at Jungeun like she’s drinking her in, like she’ll never have the chance to look at her, and she breathes, “I love you.” 

Jungeun feels like the wind’s been knocked out of her for a second before her mouth catches up to her brain and she’s saying “I love you, Haseul, I  _ love  _ you” — the words that have been occupying her mind for a while now, the words that she was too scared to say. She’s beyond surprised that Haseul said it first, but it’s a good kind of surprise, the kind that lights up her heart like fireworks.

They kiss gently, murmuring sweet nothings against each other’s lips, but Haseul pulls away when it starts to get more heated. “Uh, we should probably go tell Yeojin I got in,” she says, slightly breathless.

“Later. Now let’s celebrate, just you and I,” Jungeun says, threading their fingers together and leading Haseul in the direction of the bed. Haseul grins, her intention understood, and tugs Jungeun back in for a kiss, bruising and intense this time, but still lazy like they have all the time in the world.

It’s perfect, and really, Jungeun shouldn’t have expected any less. Afterwards, as they lay tangled up in each other and basking in the afterglow, she thinks how silly she was to believe that she belonged anywhere but right here in Haseul’s arms.

 

* * *

 

**EPILOGUE**

 

“Please welcome to the stage our next graduate, Jo Haseul!”

In the audience, Jungeun claps so hard her own grad cap almost falls off, swelling with pride as she watches her girlfriend walk across the stage with her signature toothy grin. She can’t help but laugh when she sees the flash of Haseul’s steel-toed boots from beneath the folds of her graduation gown. Some things really never change.

Haseul shakes hands with Jeong, accepts her diploma, and throws up a heavy metal hand sign before walking off the stage triumphantly. Thanks to the alphabetical order of their last names, it isn’t long before Jungeun is called up too, her heart thundering as she steps up onto the stage. When she looks out into the audience, she can see Haseul and Yeojin whooping and hollering, Jinsol clapping excitedly, even Sooyoung wolf-whistling. For the hundredth time in the past few months, she feels dizzy with happiness, emotional tears threatening to spring.

Thankfully she makes it off the stage without much ado, and finds her way into the audience to where Haseul’s sitting. Haseul shoves Sooyoung out of the seat next to her, ignoring her protests, and tugs Jungeun down by the waist, kissing her cheek.

“Can you believe it?” she whispers, linking their fingers together. “We’re graduates.”

“I  _ can _ believe it, the way we worked our asses off for finals,” Jungeun whispers back, and Haseul gives a little laugh, both of them settling back to listen to the valedictorian’s speech. To Jungeun's surprise (and slight bitterness) the position doesn't go to her, but rather some uninteresting dude from her social studies class, who has the same GPA as her but  _slightly_ better extracurriculars. Now, though, she realizes that she's happiest right here, amidst all the people she loves.

Jungeun gathers up courage and leans back in. “So, this morning I got a call back from one of the internships I applied to.”

Haseul’s eyes widen and she turns to look Jungeun. “And?!”

Jungeun can’t help the smile that pulls at the corners of her mouth. “I got it,” she said. “It’s for a vet clinic — I know I said I didn’t wanna be a doctor, but I kinda warming to the idea now that I know my patients are gonna be cute animals…”

Haseul smiles proudly and squeezes her hand tight. “I’m so proud of you, baby,” she says, and the praise makes Jungeun almost as happy as she did when she received the call. “Look at us, huh? I’m the one going off to college while you’re taking a year off to work. Could you ever have imagined?”

“Never," Jungeun says, with all honesty. Some things never change, yes, but others really do. "Looks like we're rubbing off on each other."

“Next thing I know, you’ll be riding my bike.”

“Keep dreaming, Jo Haseul.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah i cant believe its over.. tysm to everyone whos read and supported this fic!! it was rly nice and light to write and got better reception than id ever hoped so.. thank you!! <333
> 
> [twt](http://twitter.com/bluejinsol)


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